LadyBea40's Journal, 26 March 2014

I'm not gonna lie, today has been tough for me. Tomorrow would have been my son's 36th birthday but because he was murdered there is no party for him. Twice a year two dates hit me very hard and there is nothing that is going to change that. So please forgive me for the down mood I am in today.

Today has been a rainy overcast day, I do feel blessed because niece gave me a call this morning an really just allowed me to talk and cry. Sometimes I just need to do that. Tomorrow I am going to only think about the good memories because there are many.

I feel I've been doing really well on my calories and exercise so I'm good on that. So I hope my buddies had a really nice day and take care.

Diet Calendar Entries for 26 March 2014:
1055 kcal Fat: 47.04g | Prot: 58.12g | Carb: 106.56g.   Breakfast: Allmax Nutrition ISOFLEX Whey Protein Isolate Powder, 2% Fat Milk. Lunch: Milk (2% Lowfat with Added Vitamin A), General Mills Cheerios. Dinner: Butter (Salted), Whole Wheat Bread, Cream Of Mushroom Soup (with Equal Volume Water, Canned). Snacks/Other: Oil Popped White Popcorn. more...
3889 kcal Activities & Exercise: Housework - 2 hours, Walking 2.5 incline 2 - 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 13 hours and 30 minutes. more...

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1 to 20 of 26
Comments 
LadyBea, I’m so sorry you lost your son. (((((cyber hug)))))  
26 Mar 14 by member: Deb_N
prayers and sympathy. 
26 Mar 14 by member: timconard
Backat'cha Bea :D 
26 Mar 14 by member: myawethinTICself
Life can sometimes seem so unfair. I deeply sympathize with your loss and am so proud that you're choosing to channel your energy into better health. 
26 Mar 14 by member: LuC2
Take it slow and easy , lots of good thoughts going your way. 
26 Mar 14 by member: Char60
Nothing to forgive. Teary.  
26 Mar 14 by member: northernmusician
I'm crying as I read this. I'm guessing that it is healthier to HAVE those feelings than to hold them in or be in denial. Your niece did a great thing for you. May those good memories you focus on tomorrow give your tears some respite. 
26 Mar 14 by member: gilliansings
cry if you want to . we are always there for you.  
27 Mar 14 by member: namramn1
(*HUG*) 
27 Mar 14 by member: puhpine
I really identify with you about your Son. My Sons b-day and the date he passed away always pokes me. I'm sorry your Son was taken in such a way. Mine was 16, and killed due to another driver was on crack...the car my Son was in, all 4 died. 2 girls, 2 boys on the highway. Were in a club we never wanted to be in. It's ok. We will see our children when our time comes. It's gonna be ok! 
27 Mar 14 by member: 1bluetree
Thinking of you today, tons of love and prayers. You are such an amazingly strong woman 
27 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
I pray that those good memories you think about will drive out the bad. Best wishes for you. 
27 Mar 14 by member: jwill77nc2
I am sorry for your lose. I lost my dad and my older sister within a couple of years but I worst lost was losing my best friend of 23 years. He died on my birthday 2 years ago and I still miss him and now all we have are the memories of good times and I know I still have days that I cry over all three of them. So you take your day and remember the son that was taken from you and we are here for you if you need us. 
27 Mar 14 by member: cyd69
Bea, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and I am so sorry that you are hurting. Please, take the time to remember your son..honor his life, his memory today and celebrate his life. 
27 Mar 14 by member: notjune1
You're an amazing woman. You've overcome so much and continue on with your life. He would truly be proud of his mom. Be well and be blessed Lady Bea. Keep up the good work.  
27 Mar 14 by member: ClassicRocker
Oh Bea, I wish I could be there for you in person. You have overcome so much and came out such a positive person, in spite of it. Cry if you have to, it is not weak to cry over the loss of a child. 
27 Mar 14 by member: Barbara4572
I am sooo sorry to hear that LadyBea!!! You know we are here for you always and support you during this difficult time and reflection on such a memorial day. Your post has made us all have your son in our thoughts. :)) 
27 Mar 14 by member: lovergirl654
Sending warm hugs and a hope that you are able to concentrate on the good memories. Know that we are here for you, and yes your son would be proud to have a Mom like you. You are strong and kind. XOXO 
27 Mar 14 by member: Lynn1958
So sad to hear about your loss. Grieving is natural, so there is no need to apologize for your deep feelings of loss. Tomorrow is another day, and hopefully it will shine brighter for you. Today is what today is. Celebrate his life, and your love for him. You are on my heart today. 
27 Mar 14 by member: Cjsong
Ditto what Gillian and Cj said. Grieve as you must, without guilt. That is an incredible loss. When you finish crying this time you can remember the beautiful moments and celebrate them. Just be careful to not get stuck in the past. Get good help if you need it. You are not alone, even the pain will ebb, but you will always be your son's mom. Take care, Bea! 
27 Mar 14 by member: MrsTofu

     
 

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