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29 days to go!!
My husband does the daily count down. I'm looking forward to it but likely will not be super excited till it gets closer. Mostly because I have my mind on so many other things.
Fluct up, fluct down .... today is a fluct down day and a "new" low so it gets recorded here!! Every day is an adventure.
I'd love to write something really touching today, something to stir your hearts and minds but my mind isn't quite in gear!! LOL!! Haven't slept really well the last couple of nights and I actually turned off my alarm clock this morning and fell back asleep. I just finished 46 minutes on the elliptical and I'd like to squeeze a little kettle bell into the morning before I go to work. If I am going to do that I don't think I have time to see if my brain wakes up so I can write something interesting!! Sorry buddies!!!
I do want to mention I read a fellow buddie's journal last night. She was talking about being kinder to herself, building her self-esteem. She has been "stalled" at the same weight for a long time and I think it is frustrating to her. Anyway ... one of the things I try to remember when I practice kindness is thinking, acting towards myself like I would act towards my own child. I know the pain of not being happy with myself. I know how it feels to think you never "measure up" to expectations. I know how it feels when I beat up on myself. It isn't the "grown-up" version of me that is so damn critical ... it is that younger, more immature version of me ... the little girl. So ... when I can ... I try to remember that "big" Moose needs to nurture "little" Moose ... and practice kindness, forgiveness for being human, patience ... and so forth.
I don't know if that sounds like rubbish to you all or if it might be helpful but I thought I would share.
Gotta run ... grateful list needs to wait this morning ... maybe when I get to the office I can add it!!!
Continuing down my path, ever mindful of being kind to myself, learning to embrace my moments, embrace my frailties, being grateful for what I do have ... instead of so damn focused on what I do not have!!!
Take care my friends!!
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193.4 lb
Lost so far: 65.8 lb.
Still to go: 8.4 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 09 February 2011:
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2620 kcal
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Fat: 132.32g | Prot: 182.43g | Carb: 197.25g.
Breakfast: large egg, Weight Watchers Mexican Cheese, water. Lunch: Weight Watchers Yogurt, pineapple tidbits, Cottage Cheese, light laughing cow cheese, roasted chicken breast, Flat Out Light Italian. Dinner: Lean Cuisine Sesame Stir Fry with Chicken. Snacks/Other: Genuine Draft 64, Wonderful Pistachios, La Tortilla Factory Small Tortilla, fat free cheese slice, roasted chicken, Special K Protein Bar, Hershey Kisses. more...
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3262 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Conditioning exercise (health club) - 10 minutes, Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 46 minutes, Resting - 4 hours and 4 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 1.4 lb a week
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 Comments
Apparently, sleep is a hard thing to come by lately! I hate it - I get into bed, get all snuggly under the covers, fall asleep, and then wake up an hour later, and I'm up for hours! Anyway, at least you still got up and did your exercise - Good for you!! Have a great day!
09 Feb 11 by member: MomofTwoGirls
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Nothing that you say sounds like rubbish...lol Now be kind to yourself...I am hoping to connect with you too. I was busy doing important connecting last night...lol Did I really say that here??? I am losing it these days!!
09 Feb 11 by member: chattycathy1955
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heh! heh! Cathy!! I know I am not top on the priority list of "connections" these days!!! LOL!!
09 Feb 11 by member: madaboutmoose
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I like your idea of treating yourself like a child to be nurtured! Interesting thoughts as always Moose. :)
09 Feb 11 by member: Chris1979
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Congrats on the loss! And still having wise words to say even when sleepy! I have started only recording losses too - I think - but it's gonna leave some laaaaarge gaps LOL
09 Feb 11 by member: squigglywiggly
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It's good to have some days to cruise along without any mental "heavy lifting" - enjoy!
09 Feb 11 by member: abbadabba
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Great journal- so encouraging!!!
09 Feb 11 by member: sharonfriz
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First, Carol, thanks so much for these wonderful words of wisdom. You are so right, the young me, the child me, that for so many years heard that I didn't quite measure up to all the expectations....that I wasn't quite as good as everyone else....that I needed to be thinner...that I was second best, needs to let the grown up me nurture her...it is okay for me to nice to me! Hope that you have an awesome, fantastic, super Wednesday. Congrats on the loss...you are magnificent!
09 Feb 11 by member: ctlss
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So sorry, i haven't stopped by in a while.. what is the count down for?? Spring?? or a vacation?? they appear to be the big countdowns here on FS!!
and I agree we ALL must take care of our INNER child!!!!
09 Feb 11 by member: amy1flite
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Amy ... vacation in Cabo San Lucas!!! Two WHOLE weeks of warm sun, sand, beach, pool, tacos!!!
09 Feb 11 by member: madaboutmoose
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09 Feb 11 by member: Lisa Online
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Carol, your journal of yesterday really touched me. I totally get talking to 'little moose'. I once did an exercise where I tried to connect to 'little Isabel', to apologize for stuff and tell her I was here for her, you know the type of thing, and I sobbed and sobbed. It was awful but good. I knew I had reached a part of me that needed to be reached. I so totally here you. The little kid in us sometimes gets quite damaged and as adults we think if we just go on it will all be okay, and it often is, but the little person inside us still hurts and always will if we don't do the work. I hope all our friends who are practicing this art of kidness to themselves realizes that its really their inner child that needs that nourishment and if they can reach that little person and give them some assurance and a hug, it will make the world of difference. I don't always keep my promise to 'little Isabel' to treat her well and protect her and I pay the price when I don't. Glad the weight is cooperating and thank goodness for upcoming holidays.
10 Feb 11 by member: sarahsmum
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I'm glad Isabel!! Thank you for your comment. I think when we can connect to the pain of our younger self it leads to change in our "now."
10 Feb 11 by member: madaboutmoose
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There is so much wisdom to be learned from all my buddies...I don't know that I have ever told "little Stef" that I was sorry, that nothing was her fault, that she is beautiful, I love her, and will protect her. Thanks Is and thanks Carol...you guys rock! HUGS!
10 Feb 11 by member: ctlss
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