FullaBella's Journal, 26 December 2013

Thursday - December 26th. Another good night of sleep again albeit chemically assisted. Yesterday was okay; the grandson's actually came over a little early offering to help set things up. Rare. I let them help me prepare a couple of dishes - a rarity for them. Their parents don't let them do those types of things and that is tragic considering they are 14 and 16.

Then the train of food and the rest of Blondie's crew began arriving but everyone was chowing down on my appetizers to the point we just stuck the 'meal' food in the oven on warm until nearly 6pm.

I prepared all the dishes I mentioned yesterday and as fast as I'd fill a serving tray I'd need to refill it. The mantra 'There's just something about Mom's cooking...' outnumbered 'Merry Christmas'. Not a single leftover. I did have enough sliced deli to make a few more wraps but I think had I done that the 'dinner' food would not have been touched at all.

And in a final note of 'all things food' I never did eat to 'overfull' but I wasn't exactly hungry every time I shoved another little tidbit in my mouth. I hope part of that was the result of drinking a pint of water at least every half hour. I had my oatmeal at bedtime but made a small step back toward the better by not adding the brown sugar and decreasing the butter by half. Time to back away from that slippery slope. And I made it to bed without grabbing cookies or eggnog.

This morning I woke confused though and entertained delicious plans of curling up with Mushy and the Sunday paper and zoning out. I will open the shop and see who wants to spend their Christmas money or sell things to pay their bills. Hope it's more of the former than the latter but a customer is a customer.

Mushy goes for her dental checkup this afternoon; if she gets the all clear sign we'll get her some new chew bones and toys. Her companion tags came in and I have a new harness and lead ordered for her to start out her new year in style as well.

I phoned Cutty's two children up North to wish them a Merry Christmas and explain the change in the Memorial; they seemed somewhat relieved; at the very least, accepting. Either the other shoe is merely waiting to drop or I've scared the snot out of everyone as I've yet to encounter the usual post death greed and nonsense as witnessed with all of the other family member passings. His son did ask for a few personal items and I'll be accommodating those requests as possible. I ordered the engraved plates for the boxes (to distribute Cutty's ashes) and will be shipping those out probably after the first of the year.

And then? I was surprised to note there was a 'caretaker's support group' meeting listed in the local paper this morning. Had never seen THAT one in the past and I always read the daybook first looking for something local. There were also three separate grief support group meetings listed where there is usually only one. I may phone for details.

And that's about it for now. Hope you all have a great day after Christmas day.

Bella


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Comments 
Take care Do what feels good for you. 2014 will be the best year ever. 
26 Dec 13 by member: Char60
Sounds like it went okay. Keeping my fingers crossed it will be the spenders who cross your door today and in the coming weeks. You rocked it, Bella!! 
26 Dec 13 by member: kclab
I'm glad to hear that yesterday went ok.  
26 Dec 13 by member: 2ManyCurves
Bella, I've missed you! Glad to hear you are again taking charge! Do what you want! It is your turn! Many years ago after losing a long time job, losing a favorite grandfather, and ending a very painful marriage,a within the period of a month, I found it hard to cope.....go figure. My Dr. Said if you don't take care of yourself, you're not worth a damn to take care of anyone else. Well, as I had an 8 and 10 yr old to care for.....I decided on time for me. Take time for you. Close the shop for 2 hours at lunch, go OUT! Out is comforting after you get used to it. Don't stay inside, and take your SELF time. Even though you aren't caring for Cutty all day, you aren't caring for Bella either. Enjoy you! I know I do and feel as if you are one of my greatest gifts. A friend who listens and doesnt judge. We are here Bella and we care for you more than you might think possible. Go check the group out. Talking to those who have gone through the same thing means much! YOU ARE NOT ALONE, dear Bella, ever! Love Ya! 
26 Dec 13 by member: PKs Grammie
I KNEW your appies would be a hit! Glad everything went relatively well for dinner. Funny how those groups just sort of appeared at the right time - check them out. Not all will be a good fit, but you just might find a great one. Take care. 
26 Dec 13 by member: Lynn1958
I'm glad your food was such a big hit (and no leftovers!). What are you planning on doing with Mushy's companion status other than being able to bring her into the post office? It seems poor timing that the caretaker's support group only came into being now. I hope all works out. 
26 Dec 13 by member: evelyn64
Hi Bella, sounds like your Christmas food contribution was greatly appreciated and your day went as well as can be expected. I thought of you often.  
26 Dec 13 by member: Neptunebch
Sounds as if you were feeding the 5,000. Glad Cutty's children have fallen in with your plans :-) 
26 Dec 13 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
Hi Bella, I've missed you. Feel like I've been gone from FS for ages and it's only been a few days. It's only been a month since Cutty passed. Cut yourself some slack. You are not on any one's agenda but yours. You feel what you feel when you feel it. There is no correct widow's timeline. I'm glad you survived Christmas. And I think your plan for Cutty's ashes is perfect. Whatever you chose to do will be 'perfect' because you are the boss, always remember that. No one can tell you what to do, or make you feel 'less than'. Cutty is always with you in spirit. Hope Mushyface gets a clean bill of health at the dentist. As always I wish I could be more articulate in things I want to say but I am behind you supporting you as best I can.  
26 Dec 13 by member: sarahsmum
Merry belated Christmas Bells! Just keep going even if you feel numb, because as the days move on you will slowly begin to find your balance again. I don't write everyday, but know that I read all of your journals. I'm cheering for you girl - be kind to yourself.  
26 Dec 13 by member: Josie Ann
Haven't spoken in about a week- hope you are having a nice holiday! :) 
26 Dec 13 by member: waynem37

     
 

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