Annabelle3117's Journal, 01 January 2015

Recording this only so that I have it documented to look back upon. Seven pounds higher than last new years day, and forty pounds higher than my all time low 5 months ago. It sucks ya know, and in truth I'm crazy embarrassed to post it. I even thought about making a new profile so no one would realize it was me. I'm not entirely devastated with how my body looks, at least I wasn't until my mom sent me a picture of myself from august when I was about 175lbs. I was a lot smaller, but I also looked deflated and that was kind of discouraging too. Well, now I know why none of my clothes want to fit. I can look at this from two different perspectives. The perspective of a failure that might as well give up from here on out... which would take me back to 286+ in record time. Or I can look at it as a starting point.

I have started over a lot recently. Stress, and primarily anxiety, have gotten the best of me. Hell, post Christmas I was literally in bed for four days with one of the worst bouts of depression I've seen in a while. I have been praying and meditating a lot this past week as a way to try to manage my anxiety and I feel like I'm making progress. What I really need is to get back into my fitness routine. I loved pushing my body to the limit, and I'm excited to get back to that when the kids return to school. My husband and I have done a lot of connecting and that has all but washed away the last of my insecurities. Glad to have him always on my side. It's funny how things can distort when you're looking through depression clouded glasses. Praying, meditating, exercising, those are my tools to be successful.

New years resolutions? Of course I've got a few. I'd love to see 150 this year, it's close enough to goal that I'd take it lol. But that's not a resolution. When you're writing a nursing care plan you start out with a nursing diagnosis, then you write in interventions, which are things you are going to do to help the patient reach the goal, and the last thing written in the plan is the expected outcome/goal. Your outcome needs to be centered around the patient (of course) realistic, measurable, and include a time frame. That seemed to make a lot of sense to me, so organized, well planned and easy to follow that I thought, why shouldn't resolutions be set up the same way? So let me make one up for you right now, it's good practice for me anyway.

Nursing Diagnoses:
Risk for situational low self esteem, stress overload, risk for imbalanced nutrition; more than body requirements, self neglect : AEB (as evidenced by) rapid weight gain, chronic depression/anxiety, hypersomnia, frequent crying/self doubt and social withdrawal.

Interventions:
1. Learning and implementing meditation techniques to help manage stress levels and anxiety for 30min x 3days/week.
2. Exercising at home or local gym one hour 2-3x/week.
3. Documenting nutritional intake, including at least one fruit, one vegetable, and one multivitamin daily and caloric intake around 1500 cal/day.
4. Eating out only one time per month.
5. Drinking only water, coffee, and or tea.
6. Limiting alcohol consumption to specified dates.

Expected outcome:

Proper nutrition and exercise will result in a steady decline in weight at bimonthly weigh ins of at least 5lbs per month. Anxiety will be controlled and decline in severity. Increased control over my life will result in increased self esteem.

I'm not big on putting numbers in my weight loss goals, but ideally I would like to lose at least 5lbs per month. It's a long way back to where I was, but I feel like I've got a solid plan. All I have to do is stick to it, right?

Happy New Year everyone.

218.0 lb Lost so far: 68.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

---

1386 kcal

Fat: 67.24g | Prot: 64.46g | Carb: 127.65g.   Breakfast: Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Great Value Wheat Sandwich Bread, Egg, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer. Lunch: Betty Crocker Banana Bread, Mashed Potatoes (Whole Milk and Butter Added), Cooked Sauerkraut, Smithfield Pork Roast. Dinner: Imperial Stick Butter, Air Popped Popcorn. Snacks/Other: Great Value French Vanilla Coffee Creamer, Great Value Wheat Sandwich Bread, Great Value Creamy Peanut Butter. more...