Good morning!
(EDIT!)
New picture! Whaddaya think?!
I have not had a pro photo taken of me since kindergarten, I think.
This photo is actually for a newspaper ad that my gym is gonna do. He wants to sell ME as the motivator to have people go exercise. He will put a tagline regarding my weight loss, and invite people to come meet me and talk about weight loss. How do you think that'll affect the interest in my classes? :) I'm ALL smiles here.
There are other news coming in this regard too. I can't talk about it now, but it's coming. Oh, and it's not related (much) to the thoughts I put further down this journal.
(END OF EDIT)
First of all, I want to apologize. I feel that I am neglecting all my wonderful buddies. I just haven't had the brain capacity to read journals or comment on journals. I try to be relatively active in the forums, but I really have to pick my things there too. There is just so much going on in my pretty little head these days. More on that later.
...
It's a strange weigh-in today.
I'm down in weight by just a little. I'm significantly up in fat% - at 11.9 from 10.5 yesterday - even though I am in a HUGE calorie deficit. At the same time, I am 1½ liter lower on fluids. Weird.
I'm not sure what it is that makes the odd numbers today.
I'm doing and feeling fine, though. It's all good. I feel that I am in the right spot and on the right journey.
...
I'm a little concerned that the excessively low calorie intake along with relatively high calorie burn days are making me stall. I can't have that happening now, this close to surgery. Today is 14 days from THE DAY.
I might simply need an Indulgence Day to kick things into gear. I would have to do it soon, or I will be too close to surgery day to get rid of the fluid afterwards.
It would have to be this weekend, and this is impractical.
...
There IS a party I am attending Saturday, but we're eating at this über pricy high scale restaurant, and the portions just aren't all that big. I will be out of there at less than 1000 calories for sure, no matter what I do. I don't want to drink my calories either.
I'm working at the gym all of Saturday morning and afternoon, then going home to shower and get dressed up, and then I'm off for the dinner.
There will be no chance to do anything "reckless" calorie-wise.
Sunday might be a better option. I'm playing with the band though, and this means that I will have to have a LOT of calories towards the end of the day, which in returns invites to consuming loads of carbs. Not good either.
What I REALLY want to do is to have my Indulgence Day but have it based on meats and "real" food. Not sugar crap.
I feel that I am ten times as strong when it comes to resisting sugar than I was just a week ago. I think the urge is slowly weening off. It's nice, and I don't want to poke at it. The few times I have had cravings that I wanted to give in to, it has been fixed by purchasing a protein bar. I no longer have them sitting at home. I don't feel secure enough to have them there.
So, maybe it will have to be tomorrow. A planned "pig-out"-day. Focus on meat.
Tomorrow is also workout day, so maybe it's a good time to do it.
I could take wife out for lunch at the small buffet, and have meat, meat, meat until I drop. I'll bring my scale and evaluate my intake as needed. I could do that.
Saturday, I can just eat a light lunch, and spend the rest of my calories at the dinner. That way I am sure I will have enough calories for it. I will probably not make anything that remotely looks like my protein/fat goals, but that's ok. It's not a workout day, and I will have TONS of protein the day before.
...
Yesterday was excessively active. At least Fitbit told me that it was.
I didn't really see it as all that wild, but I WAS on my feet all day, I WAS up 1½ hours earlier than I normally am (and thus burning more calories those 90 minutes), I did walk, workout, do two jobs and mostly stand up.
Still, Fitbit suggests that I burned almost 4,300 calories! That is a LOT. Looking at the pedometer part of it, I did do 23,000 steps. According to Endomondo, I did walk close to 15 kilometers outdoors, and then we have to count in walking that can't be tracked by Endomondo's GPS.
Combine that with a calorie intake of 1350, and it isn't hard to see why I might be stalling.
I think I will just enjoy my Indulgence Day tomorrow. It'll be nice.
...
Today, I went walking with Wife. We had to pick up a package at the post office, and we decided to walk there this morning.
I wasn't gonna walk today - it's resting time for my legs, but I wanted this done. It's not a long walk - about 2 kilometers. Still, by the time I was at work, I had walked 6 kilometers. Go figure.
My legs feel fine, though. I don't think there is any wear and tear right now. I feel good.
I hope it'll stay that way.
Today is our long day at work. It's the day where I'm working until 5 PM. That's okay. More calorie burn from standing up. If I only wasn't so damn tired.
The stress of finishing up my case load to be out sick all of december is really getting to me. I have trouble focusing on it, but it's just something I have to do.
I just need to get through today and tomorrow, next week and Monday/Tuesday. That's it.
Next week will be CRAZY busy. SO MANY INTERVIEWS I need to do. They all have deadlines, and they all need to either be met or have alternative dates. Phew.
...
Lately, I have been pondering a lot about my future at work.
I think I am slowly prepping myself to face the fact that it's time to move on. Working here is great. There is a lot of freedom, the pay is good and I get to do stuff I like.
However, there is also a LOT of stress from working with long time sick people. Everyone coming in has a bad story. Everyone is hoping that I won't go shut off their money.
I am basically the one that evaluates whether people can receive sick leave aid or not.
I am a very reasonable guy, but many times the law just doesn't permit things to be as they should be. This is something that is hard to deal with.
Instead, I have been pondering a LOT about opening my own business.
The next few weeks I am planing a few seeds and putting some feelers out there to see how the world around me reacts to me having a more serious weight loss business.
I can't commit do doing it right now, but I want to know just how much of a market there is for doing it.
Also, I am SERIOUSLY considering opening a gym, the same kind as I work in. This takes a LOT of money though, and I am just not sure if the bank would be okay with playing along.
These things fill more and more in my head though. I think it means that I should do something about it. Build a business. Maybe start with weight loss. Expand my time doing it, maybe more cities.
It's hard to do along with a full time job, though. I know that others have asked my boss if they could have 6 months leave to try other things, but the answer is always no. We are short handed, and they really can't afford being without us. Sure, it's (relative) job security, but it's also hard.
If I could maybe have a couple of classes - like the ones I do on Mondays - in other towns? It would be afternoon/evening work, maybe every day, but what if I could actually live off working say 4 hours daily, Monday through Friday, teaching weight loss? How awesome would that be? :)
So much to ponder upon.
I think that one day I WILL do it. I just gotta do it right. There is too much to lose if it fails, but I don't want to just dream the dream the rest of my life. One day I will have to start living it, right?
...
Wow.
Talk about side tracked. :) That felt good, though. And I think it's very true. I do need to do something sometime, especially when I see how my day job affects my stress levels in a bad way, and teaching/working at the gym affects them in a positive way. I want more of the good stuff.
...
Today, I'm thankful for:
- Wife
- Seeing what I need to do in the future.
- Indulgence Day tomorrow!
Life is good!
