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Two nights of not much sleep, but this time because of what was on my mind. I've journaled it privately to share with DH sometime soon, so am feeling better & know journaling here will help as well. DH & I fought yesterday about going/not going to the charity dinner dance let night. Our neighbor's daughter was one of the organizers. This neighbor is who DS works for part-time, and DH felt we needed to go as he helped our son. I agreed several weeks ago having been told by DH that it was 45 minutes away. But, it turned out that it was 1 1/12 hours away and we were under a winter storm advisory with snow falling & high winds. Of course, it didn't help that I'd been up since 2:30 am (like this morning) which not even a nap could help. The event was from 8-midnight. I felt we'd supported the event already with a financial donation as well as donating the use of our lake cottage for a long weekend to be auctioned off in the silent auction. In good weather & at a closer location, I still wouldn't have loved to go, but would have, but for me it was now a no-brainer. Not for DH, who party animal that he is, would risk the 3-hour drive in total, to "rally" for a friend. Hence, a disagreement that played over in mind in the wee hours of this morning.
But as I said, I've journaled it now twice, and the good news (yes, there is good news!) is that I didn't stuff the feeling with food, but healthfully sat with them & let them flow through me. While what's going on with me & DH is so much more important than "all things food" (in my Angel's words!), not clouding that by eating or binging is a huge step for me. Not only do I physically & emotionally feel better, I'm better equipped & able to deal with the relationship issues.
To best "deal", I'll start in prayer & head off for an early workout. DH & I are then taking MIL and her friend to a matinee to see The Monuments Men (she read & loved the book… I just love all things George Clooney!). He'll then head off skiing with the guys, I'll stop by at work and go to 5:15 mass tonight. I'll re-read what I wrote to send to DH later tomorrow night. I want to be sure to use the right words but hope we can talk about it too after. But before i get ahead of myself on the Transition Sunday…
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
For this one day and through each one meal, moment, bite, thought & emotion, I'll pray, breathe, journal, log, express and/or sit with my way. I'm so grateful for each of Magnificent you, my family (including my DH of the past 25 years) & IRL friends, and having the health & wealth to live this life I love even when its emotionally challenging. xoxox
Diet Calendar Entries for 16 February 2014:
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1360 kcal
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Fat: 65.51g | Prot: 82.37g | Carb: 126.91g.
Breakfast: Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Vanilla Coconut Creme. Lunch: Isagenix IsaLean Bar - Natural Oatmeal Raisin. Dinner: Cote d'Or Experiences Dark Chocolate 86% Cacao, Trader Joe's White Chicken and Roasted Beet Salad. Snacks/Other: Olives, Just Tomatoes Just Veggies, Simply Balanced Salted Edamame Freeze Dried Vegetables. more...
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2174 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 45 minutes, Bicycling (fast) - 15/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 14 hours and 15 minutes. more...
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