Ruhu's Journal, 16 February 2014

Two nights of not much sleep, but this time because of what was on my mind. I've journaled it privately to share with DH sometime soon, so am feeling better & know journaling here will help as well. DH & I fought yesterday about going/not going to the charity dinner dance let night. Our neighbor's daughter was one of the organizers. This neighbor is who DS works for part-time, and DH felt we needed to go as he helped our son. I agreed several weeks ago having been told by DH that it was 45 minutes away. But, it turned out that it was 1 1/12 hours away and we were under a winter storm advisory with snow falling & high winds. Of course, it didn't help that I'd been up since 2:30 am (like this morning) which not even a nap could help. The event was from 8-midnight. I felt we'd supported the event already with a financial donation as well as donating the use of our lake cottage for a long weekend to be auctioned off in the silent auction. In good weather & at a closer location, I still wouldn't have loved to go, but would have, but for me it was now a no-brainer. Not for DH, who party animal that he is, would risk the 3-hour drive in total, to "rally" for a friend. Hence, a disagreement that played over in mind in the wee hours of this morning.

But as I said, I've journaled it now twice, and the good news (yes, there is good news!) is that I didn't stuff the feeling with food, but healthfully sat with them & let them flow through me. While what's going on with me & DH is so much more important than "all things food" (in my Angel's words!), not clouding that by eating or binging is a huge step for me. Not only do I physically & emotionally feel better, I'm better equipped & able to deal with the relationship issues.

To best "deal", I'll start in prayer & head off for an early workout. DH & I are then taking MIL and her friend to a matinee to see The Monuments Men (she read & loved the book… I just love all things George Clooney!). He'll then head off skiing with the guys, I'll stop by at work and go to 5:15 mass tonight. I'll re-read what I wrote to send to DH later tomorrow night. I want to be sure to use the right words but hope we can talk about it too after. But before i get ahead of myself on the Transition Sunday…

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

For this one day and through each one meal, moment, bite, thought & emotion, I'll pray, breathe, journal, log, express and/or sit with my way. I'm so grateful for each of Magnificent you, my family (including my DH of the past 25 years) & IRL friends, and having the health & wealth to live this life I love even when its emotionally challenging. xoxox

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 February 2014:
1360 kcal Fat: 65.51g | Prot: 82.37g | Carb: 126.91g.   Breakfast: Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Vanilla Coconut Creme. Lunch: Isagenix IsaLean Bar - Natural Oatmeal Raisin. Dinner: Cote d'Or Experiences Dark Chocolate 86% Cacao, Trader Joe's White Chicken and Roasted Beet Salad. Snacks/Other: Olives, Just Tomatoes Just Veggies, Simply Balanced Salted Edamame Freeze Dried Vegetables. more...
2174 kcal Activities & Exercise: Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 45 minutes, Bicycling (fast) - 15/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 14 hours and 15 minutes. more...

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Comments 
Can't believe she just didn't postpone the even due to inclement weather? Sounds like you dealt with it well. Hope today is better and you get some sleep tonight.  
16 Feb 14 by member: BuffyBear
Wow Ruhu; you must be so proud of yourself for dealing with it all so well! Thank you for the continuous inspiration in your mindfulness! Hope you continue to get successfully get through your hurdle! 
16 Feb 14 by member: Tulipgirl6
It takes a lot of strength and determination to not let the food get the best of you during times like these. Hold onto those who support you and keep the faith. And keep up the great work! 
16 Feb 14 by member: Babe53
relationship issues are so tough, Ruth. Hope you guys get a chance to talk about this. And I hope today is a much better day for you. 
16 Feb 14 by member: Helewis
Well done on the good front... I would totally agree with you... 1 1/2 hours in bad weather - no brainer, especially as you had donated in other ways. Your life and well being is also important. 
16 Feb 14 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
Glad you worked through it in a healthy way for you Ruth. Hope it gets resolved and you are feeling better soon. 
16 Feb 14 by member: newmooney
That's tough, but you dealt with it well, and that's important. Did you end up going? If so, you'd have been up for 24 hours straight! Keep up the journaling. It's truly a lifesaver. Sending warm vibes your way. 
16 Feb 14 by member: mrsmole
I'm so sorry. It is terrible to argue with the one who should be most in your corner, isn't it... and the other side of the fence is he felt the same way. Surprised he'd risk traveling in bad weather though ... that doesn't seem logical. Hopefully the sore feeling will soothe soon and yes, wonderful you for not eating, stuffing your emotions and adding to the issues. GREAT job. You are doing so well, have come so far ... I am excited to enjoy today with you and see wonderful days ahead (among the cloudy that are just part of life) for you this year. Monuments Men - pretty good - reignited my interest in art and world history. Have a great day, Angel.  
16 Feb 14 by member: FullaBella
I am surprised the event wasn't postponed. Sorry the two of you are at odds. It would seem he is not thinking of others as much as he is thinking of his own interests. I hope you guys work it out. 
16 Feb 14 by member: Mom2Boxers
You got through a tough night without straying from your healthy eating plan, that is wonderful. Hope your husband realizes you were right about the drive. An hour and a half is a long way even under the best weather circumstances, never mind in the snow. The driving was terrible here yesterday, snowy and icy all afternoon and evening. Hope you have a wonderful Sunday. 
16 Feb 14 by member: SJacqueline
Do you trust his driving? My husband is the worst driver. He is however, the one I trust in the winter. He drives so very careful. However, if he was not, there is no way I would get in the car. Try to relax and let God carry you and also put the words in that need to be said.  
16 Feb 14 by member: MMN

     
 

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