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07 May 2012

Well ... My intentions were not to weigh in too often; however, I have been finding I need to weigh in to settle my journey onward. This past weekend was the Confirmation and then the luncheon, and I went off track some. Then yesterday boomed into a total disaster emotionally, which I am still trying to work through - sigh.

Saturday, I started out with my usual food intake. After Mass I was able to stay away from the temptation of the reception goodies. At the luncheon (buffet style) I managed to have a salad, some mixed vegetables slightly buttered or oiled, and a spoonful of pasta noodles in a vodka sauce ... No meat. For desert I had one butter cookie, a "taste" of a torte (two bites of chocolate vanilla cake w/strawberry filling), a bite-sized cheese cake, and a whole cannoli (guilty as charged).

I think I was more nervous than my candidate - fearing I would slip or trip on the tiled floor, and standing for some 25 minutes while all 47 candidates were confirmed (we were at the end, 40th, and had to stand while all those went before us).

Sunday, I returned for Sunday Mass, and out of the blue in a conversation with my mother on the way home from Mass I found myself feeling hurt and angry by an accusation she made. I wish she would stop telling me how I meant to say something, and when I try to rephrase she will tell me that is not what I mean. So, I pulled up the driveway and left on a walk to think ... I returned home and then drove to the mall and walked some more. Food ... I did and didn't really think about it.

Today is a new day - Monday!

Oh No! Well, that didn't go well ~ A door just got slammed in my face, but the person probably did not realize I was just outside the door and ready to approach with a box that came in the mail.

Where are all these emotions coming from. They seem to be flying at me from all directions. I am not really sure what is going on inside me ... My emotions just seem to be all over the place - I am feeling extremely sensitive and vulnerable. Like my soul is completely exposed and being dragged through the wringer maybe? I need a quiet church corner to hide in.
Weigh-in: 199.0 lb lost so far: 4.0 lb still to go: 82.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 2.1 lb a week

04 May 2012

03 May 2012

Weigh-in: 200.2 lb lost so far: 2.8 lb still to go: 83.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 4.2 lb a week

02 May 2012

5/2/12 - Sigh ... ... Okay, here is my confession in struggling with my hunger last night ~ maybe it was the mini kit kat that threw me off(?). By 4:35 pm I was so hungry and since I was leaving work in half an hour I had made up mind to just grab a handful of my granola, raisin, nut mix in the car (I keep a 2 cup Tupperware in the car for these moments). However, the handful did not fill me enough, so I reached in for more with the plan to stop when I was no longer feeling hungry. I consciously knew at one point to stop - I had my "portion," but I did not. By the time I was feeling slightly full the container was 1/2 gone! I must have eaten one cup full, at minimum - Ugh ... so much for controlling my carbs. I went home and had a cup of cottage cheese for dinner. Later I had a cup of green tea.

I feel somewhat bloated this morning, and, hence, I did not even look in the mirror or seek out the scale. Thank God I can start fresh today.

01 May 2012

Weigh-in: 201.4 lb lost so far: 1.6 lb still to go: 84.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 1.9 lb a week

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