mardee57's Journal, 12 July 2014

:) 

Thanks Deb I am not going to eat the popcorn that was seriously calling my name. You saved me!!! 

Funny, I was thinking of planning a cheat day on the 21st of July. My perfect cheat day: Breakfast: Ice cream Lunch: Ice cream Supper: Mars and Snickers chocolate bar, followed by cheese cake for dessert with half a bottle of expensive red wine. I never gave myself permission to go all out that way. I got myself salivating just thinking about it. I wonder what it would do to my diet for that week. lol  

monique, i think that would be bad. you will probably crash from all that sugar. i gained 3 pounds from eating at my birthday. i'm hoping they're gone by next sunday when i do my official weigh in. skipping it this week. 

Dear NowIUnderstand, You won't be understanding if you sabotage your progress like that! I made that mistake had a really bad cheat day, not long ago... Chocolate, Hot Tamales, 3 Musketeers, Movie Theater Popcorn etc... I gained 5 pounds in one day! I felt like such a failure and a loser so I would have to say it just wasn't worth it. What makes me crazy like that??? I know we all need to cheat but for me I truly had to even restrict myself to a sane way to cheat... So don't sabotage yourself, eat your ice cream but only buy a pint and not a half gallon ; ) WE CAN DO THIS!! 

She is just kidding , I hope.  

Mon, IMO wait a couple months then do ONE of those things. Mardee, I have to say I'm grateful I've never felt like a failure or a loser. I've only been at this for about 10 months and I've definitely had bad decision moments and even days. I seem to be one of those people who has to maintain a positive self image for this to work.  

Mardee, not disputing the numbers of your weight gain, but how can that be?. Can we really put on 5lbs in one day? We'd have to be 15,000 cal over our daily expenditure. How can that same amount of weight take weeks to get off? Something is not right. Maybe I should reserve that 'special day' for my birthday next year. I don't feel deprived and it's just summer without an ice cream is something I've never done. I have to realise that ice cream will be there next summer. And this is something new. I'll call it 'the summer of no ice cream' lol. And, I'm pretty much an all or nothing kinda gal. I'll have to work on that when I get to maintenance, to see how to reintegrate some foods. Which permissions I'll give myself, when and where. But you gals are all right! Now's not the time to start thinking like that! I was half kidding... testing the waters let's say. Thanks for setting me on the right path.  

@Mardee57 'you won't be understanding...' ROFL.. 

LOL! It is crazy how fast I can gain weight!! I probably did eat 10,000 calories and I saw 2 movies all in one day. It may have been the salt on the popcorn. I did get back to my weight in a week but really my body just freaks out whenever I eat too little or too much. I think it is my age and metabolism, it is whacked. I guess eating food that I have eaten for a good deal of my life is harder to give up 100% of the time. All any of us can do is take it one day at a time... We are more than conquerers.  

Vickie, Good for you! You are one of those rare few that have not lost respect for yourself due to poor food choices. Almost every comment or entry you read people are disappointed with themselves and their immediate failing in their battle with food. I think it's pretty normal to be frustrated, feel you failed and even consider yourself a loser in the moment. I don't think most of us carry the sentiment past our confession. Acknowledging our failure and moving on is all most of us can do. If self-esteem is momentarily diminished I think that too is probably quite normal. We all seem to be very resilient and many of us have been on this journey for many years fighting this battle and there are those days when it can get to you and you write it down and share your intimate thoughts with others knowing you are not alone.