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So nice to read via your comments on my journals that I'm not alone searching for answers. To be my age and still asking so many questions made me feel as if I'd skipped too many 'lessons in life' classes. Apparently some of you were out at the lake drinking beer with me too. Cool.
This weekend I had several 'whys' on my plans for my time away in August. My inner shrink went several rounds with my inner bean counter on the 'suite' vs a 'regular room'. The shrink won out once the answers kept circling back to the realization that I was, once again, short changing and treating myself cheap.
A few rounds about 'why is it so important to eat alone in a fancy restaurant' followed, esp when the gallery online shows my suite to have a lovely dining room. Will probably need the Supreme Court of voices on that final decision because 'food' is involved. The restaurant doesn't seat until 6pm and I'm usually showered and in jammies by 7pm here in Bellawood. I may be trying to cram too many hurdles into a single jump.
I'm beginning to think an in-room massage may be just as therapeutic that night.
I've decided if I do ever write a book about myself, if nothing more than printing out the 1000 or so pages of my journals, I'd title it I Need a Life I can Pause. Don't try to steal it; my friend will swear on a bottle of Jose Cuervo that I said it first.
I only have one real life friend but she makes up for a 1000 so-so acquaintances. Email coordination for dinner Saturday went like this:
Me: "Feel like dinner tonight?"
Her: 'When & Where?'
Me: "Anytime after 3; somewhere local with cocktails."
She's so kind. And smart. She knows 'cocktails' is code word for 'bring your big shoulder and a listening ear.' Two Margarita's later and we'd laughed away my insanity and titled my autobiography. Not bad for dinner at Chili's.
The title came from a discussion about a new TV show she's watching. I told her I always have to wait until it hit's Amazon or Netflix because with my life I need to be able to hit the pause button. I can't recall the last time I went more than 20 minutes without someone interrupting me.
Yesterday was uncharacteristically 'baking day'. In between gardening and painting I made a cherry cobbler and cinnamon rolls. Sure, Bella. Let's pile sugar and simple carbs on top of tequila and really make the scale squeal.
And squeal it did this morning even though I didn't have more than a couple of bites of each. I'm not recording it though regardless of how many red link reminders FS posts at the top of my page. I know it's fluid retention from high sodium intake. I've been waking at night with horrid leg cramps so I've been drinking pickle juice and used canned tomatoes in my soup for dinner.
Hope you're all having a great day.
Bella
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 Comments
Bella I don't know why your journal made me smile, but it did. You sound happy. I like the idea that you have a great real life friend, you so deserve a wonderful friend because you are one and isn't it great to have a few cocktails and 'laugh the insanity away' love that line. And I am glad you are keeping the superior room. You definitely deserve the best you can give yourself. You give of yourself each and every day and if a few days away can replenish your stores, you definitely need to cram as much goodness into those few days as you can. In room massage too sounds wonderful. I hope your few days away are everything you want and need them to be. And I love the title of your book, hope you do eventually publish one day - if you ever get the time - lol. Oh, thanks for the PM with the link, I haven't read it yet, no time - ha ha - but I appreciate you taking the time and thinking of me.
29 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
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That is a great book title!!! All yours too!! I love reading your journal entries, and would love reading your book, if you ever decide to publish. Yep, I had too many of those beer drinking weekends by the river. I have to constantly remind myself how old I am, because I surely don't feel it!! I talked to a neighbor about possibly getting a breast reduction, and she said "oh heavens, why now at your age??" I just couldn't quite wrap my head around that......but I told her " because they hurt and hurt my back"
She just shrugged and said whatever.
I do what I want, regardless of my age!! Hang in there Bella, I'm right behind you rooting you on!!!
29 Jul 13 by member: pumakitten
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I'm always saying "stop the world - I wanna get off!" So I can identify with a life I could "pause". My best non-human friend for years has been my PVR. I almost never watch any television without the ability to zoom through commercials and pause and rewind on demand, save for maybe the news which I don't have a steady habit of watching anyway. I believe in the credo "go big or go home" when it comes to spoiling myself. A half-baked attempt isn't worth the effort. Do it big or don't do it all! Does your room also have a balcony? Maybe you could have a room service dinner set up out there. Or perhaps, if the restaurant has a patio set up, that could be another alternative. I find having scenery to relax and admire while I'm eating alone makes it seem so much more indulgent and so much less conspicuous. But I would do the dinner AND the in room massage ;)
29 Jul 13 by member: evelyn64
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Such a busy woman - I need just an ounce of your energy - just so I can keep up! Your book will definately be a best seller. :)
29 Jul 13 by member: Neptunebch
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Not that you're tallying them, but I also vote for the massage & dinner, and am also thrilled to hear that you are treating yourself to the suite! And to have a "real" real life friend is priceless & you so deserve her. We were away with our friends/neighbors this past weekend & the DHs and kids came back on Sunday but my friend & I stayed until today (we couldn't get car reservations on Sunday on the ferry). We had a nice dinner out last night including a "what bugs me about my DH session", which also helped me stay my course today... in addition to your never-ending support! Sounds like I should add "author" to your long list of jobs? Know you'd be a best selling one in no time!
29 Jul 13 by member: Ruhu
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When you do write the book, be sure and let me know so I can be the first to buy it and promote it among all my "real life" acquaintances. You are truly lucky to have a friend you can speak to and be understood - what a treasure. As for the "whys" - you and I both know that our inner little ones are asking that more for attention than for true answers, right? I mean, why is the sun hot? Well... there's a reason but is that really what the two-year old wants? In my experience, the "whys" come out because my little one wants to be sure that I'm thinking of her and bringing her along and am willing to protect her.... You, as usual, have given me something to consider in my own journey. Much love - and enjoy the suite! After all, you will be celebrating your "virtual friend's" birthday, right? hehehe
30 Jul 13 by member: Sweet Ce
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Who would have thought that all that "lake time" could have such a lasting effect, but it sure does! Your book will be great. I am just trying to imagine being alone in a suite.....no Fox blarring from the TV, no persons asking for this or that, no chores needing to be done. Don't even think when or where I had dinner would matter as long as I didn't have to cook it. lol Do like Evelyn's idea of the patio though, thinking you could even do that in your jammies if you wanted. Just go and enjoy....do what YOU want...when YOU want to do it!!!
30 Jul 13 by member: 2toofat
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Thanks everyone. **Isabel - glad I could make you smile; you needed a grin yesterday and I was happy to help. **Kitten - it's crazy huh? Seems like we were just skipping high school yesterday and now I feel too old to skip period. When did this happen? **Evelyn - no patio but it's a great idea. If it weren't so hot in August I'd consider a poolside cabana massage but that's just asking for trouble this time of year. **Susan - you can't have my energy pal but I'll give you all the other ounces of stuff LOL. **Angel - even though I wasn't polling everyone chiming in with their support has been immeasurable reinforcement I made the right decision **Ce - if I ever do anything anywhere my friends here will definitely be the first to know, thank you. Now, you gave ME something to think about - and I agree - the questions are coming from the little one inside me saying 'don't forget me'. Love that reminder. **Sandi - I've long said my favorite meal is anything I don't have to kill, cook or clean ... hence why I'm thinking in all reality I could just test sitting still and drinking coffee in public; no need to pile a meal on at that late (for me) hour. We country bumpkins aren't accustomed to fancy late nights like city folk. Thanks again everyone.
30 Jul 13 by member: FullaBella
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