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01 September 2010

31 August 2010

I have not been entering since last Friday as I have had one heck of a weekend. My sweet dog, Ernie, went into convulsions and we had to rush him to the vet. We had to put him down. He had been having mini strokes for the past two months and was not well. We had hoped he would be ok for another three months as he was still enjoying his walks and loved his food. But he went into a very bad seizure and there was nothing we could do. So I have learned that I eat from emotions because I reverted right back to how I was eating before. We ate out almost every night and lunch and I did not watch what I ate. It took me to today to get myself back on track, and I still feel real shaky. But I am going to make a proper meal tonight, do housework and go for a walk.

I weighed in last Thursday and I had only lost 1 lb in two weeks. That is totally ridiculous. Why? I did not exercise enough, I know that. My portion sizes are still too big. What I ate was better food. Better choices but the amount of what I am eating is still wrong. I have to measure everything I put on my plate. They suggested buying a section plate at WalMart that would control the portions. I may have to do that. I am very frustrated but I am not going to give up. I have four days to make up for. I will take this one day at a time.

My goal for today is to
1. Weigh everything
2. Eat properly
3. Walk for 1 hr
I can do this.



25 August 2010

17 August 2010

I stepped on the scale today, which I usually do not do until I go to the weight loss clinic every two weeks, but I am still feeling guilty over Sunday and in 3 days it looks like I gained 7 lbs. I am not sure my scale is accurate and that is why I usually stay away from it but 7 lbs! I am not going to record this and I will wait until I go again to the clinic. Is it possible to gain 7 lbs from screwing up for one meal? But it has motivated me to go for a walk today. I will see if the walk does not hurt my foot. I am such a baby. When my girlfriend was down we walked every where and I sucked up the pain. So I can do the same now. I am trying to put together a workable menu for one week. It is challenging. To get the foods that are right and the costs that are right and what is in season and then will I really cook the recipes when I get home from work. I love the looking up recipes and making up the menus but I usually only make one or two of the recipes in the week. Maybe that is the trick. Two recipes and really easy stuff the rest of the time. But that is where I get into trouble. The really easy stuff to make is always fattening and not good for me. I have to give this a shot at least for one week.

15 August 2010

Well I messed up today. Started off really well by making whole wheat pancakes for my family and I only had one. I could feel the weight coming off and I liked how I was feeling. By 5pm all my family was out and I was left on my own. So what do I do, I go to Taco Bell and have two taco's and something else I wasn't even sure what it was. I know it couldn't be healthy. My son brings home two pizza's later in the evening and I have 3 pieces of that. I feel sick to my stomach and I hate this feeling. I have to go to bed and I know I have a full stomach and I will suffer with reflux and not sleep well at all. Why did I do this to myself. What was I thinking. That I could go to a take out place and control myself? It is like I do something good for myself and then I go and shoot myself in the foot. I really hate what I am doing to myself. Enough... I cannot let this make me quit. I will begin again tomorrow morning and do it right one day at a time. There has to be a way off this wheel of self destruction.

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