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Kiki8123's Journal

 
showing entries 6 to 10 of 79
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30 May 2015

Wow, I haven't posted here since October 2014! I got down to 181.4 and maintained that for awhile. Christmas came and I went back to some old habits, but still nothing that worried me. I managed to do okay for awhile, with a new position at my firm, and continued exercising. I'm not sure when that really stopped. I think it was around February when my knees started bothering me and opi began working even later. I still went to the gym, but not as frequently. And, I stopped eating healthy. Went back to late night binges here and ther. So, I'm at a point now, hovering at around the 200 lb point (I'm going to wait to change my weight until next Friday - my usual weigh in date) and pretty disgusted with myself. I was so proud of myself. How did I let this happen? So depressing. But, I know if I don't kick it in gear now, I'll just keep spiraling. I looked back through my journals and this time last year I was about 208. I haven't gone up in sizes (which is crazy for 20 lbs), but they're obviously snug where they were loose before and I was ready to switch sizes. I think that's what helped with me turn a blind eye - "it's not that bad yet if I haven't changed sizes."

So, I'm going to start checking in here daily again - this really was a huge tool in my previous weight loss. So, I'm calling out for help! Thanks, friends!

17 October 2014

Weigh-in: 181.4 lb lost so far: 45.2 lb still to go: 6.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (7 comments) losing 0.8 lb a week

17 September 2014

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday - no exercise or gym. Ugh! Probably haven't eaten the best either. This is why I get obsessed with working out. Just makes me feel better and stay on track. I worked 8:30 am to 8:00 pm yesterday with a half hour lunch. Could've gone to a Zumba class from 8:30-9:30 pm but just kept thinking of how late it would mean I'd get home. Kicking myself this morning as I know I would've felt more accomplished. Have joined Yolanda's challenge which starts Monday so will start logging food again and eating healthier. Although I've continued to lose weight, I know these last 10 lbs to goal will be even slower but don't have to be (as I'm thinking about changing goal to 20 pounds - still within a healthy range for me). So, challenging myself to get to gym tonight. I already know I won't be working too late.

14 September 2014

Down .2 lbs. at first I thought weight loss may be looking like ( as I near my weight loss goal (175)) that it's slowing down a bit. However, the 175 original goal I set for myself is on the higher end of the scale for my age and height. The lower weight is 145. I can't remember the last time I was that weight - junior high? Maybe high school? 10 lbs from goal weight and I know I can go further. So, once I reach the 175, I'll probably take it week by week, pound by pound, to see how I feel and how my body looks to determine where I should be. Or, maybe my body will stop at a certain point. I just know that the stupid "charts" still consider me overweight so we will see of that actually changes when I reach the 175. I feel better than I have in a long time. Finally got into size 10 slacks. Pretty much skipped the 12s without even realizing it. However, still in the 12s for jeans. Go figure. Not really hung up on sizes as that's not a huge thing to me. But it is funny to see the differences of sizing now that I've lost weight. I still think I need to buy extra large tops, but then try them on and it just makes me look bigger! So did a large. Got a medium, and it fit perfectly! Whoo hoo! I remember a few months back telling Yolanda I was envious and couldn't wait to get into a medium like she did for her school shirt! I did it, Yo!

I've really been amping up the exercise and love to do it. I feel sluggish if I don't make it to the gym. In fact, kind of overdid it yesterday. Did. 1.5 hour class at the gym (combo class of stair stepper, kick boxing, butts and guts). Then, 2 hours later joined a Zumbathon for MS (2 hours straight). Today body is telling me to take a break, which I will happily do. However, I've noticed that when I take time off, I get a little anxious about not doing something. I think I need to listen to my body more. With my work schedule, I never know if I'm gonna make it to the gym. So, when I have the time off, I go. The last week I had time to go every day.

Hope everyone else is doing great! I need to read your journals. I had over 150 unread notifications!
Weigh-in: 185.0 lb lost so far: 41.6 lb still to go: 10.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (10 comments) losing 0.1 lb a week

30 August 2014

I've had a pretty crappy week so it's good to see that I've still managed to lose weight. This is showing me that I've really made a lifestyle change. I think I only got to the gym once last week. Normally, in this type of situation, I would've eaten my sorrows away. A week ago my family learned tha my aunt had a brain tumor. We've been by her side at the hospital while the neurosurgeon removed 95% of her right front temporal lobe. She will need chemo and radiation and has a hard fight ahead of her. This is stage 4 cancer and serious stuff. But, she is a fighter! While we were all wondering why this beautiful woman has had her life expectancy shortened greatly, we were hit again with more horrible news. My uncle and another aunt, while driving home from the hospital and visiting this aunt, were hit head on by a drunk driver. My other aunt was killed instantly. Thank god my uncle is fine - physically.

We just never know when our ticket is up. This has just made me even more refocused on my journey. I want to really live my life - I don't want to go back to that sedentary life of feeling depressed, hating my body, having no energy, etc. I want to live - and live healthy! I honestly feel like I'm better able to handle all that's been going on because I don't have all the other stupid emotional hang ups to deal with. In the past, I would've been worried about seeing certain family members I hadn't seen in ages and felt embarrassed of my weight. It's funny how you worry about stupid stuff like that when you're overweight, but I did. This time, I didn't have all that baggage. In fact, I was able to care for others more easily and have more of a take charge attitude, rather than just sitting in a corner and trying to disappear. And, even better, a lot of these people hadn't seen me since I started this weight loss journey and noticed the change. And I learned to say thank you when they said how good I looked!

So, if you're struggling, take today to refocus on yourself. Even if just for a few moments. Just make yourself a priority a little more each day. Because in the end, you'll really have the tools to deal with anything that comes your way.
Weigh-in: 185.2 lb lost so far: 41.4 lb still to go: 10.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (17 comments) losing 1.6 lb a week

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