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Im so mad at myself right now. So mad. I weighed in at Tops last night and I gained 2.4. How could I do that to myself?? Im not going to blame anyone for this gain, and my slow progress for the past couple months. Its my fault, and I own it.I have lost all of this weight and I am not going back. I don't think Im entitled to weeks like this. My husband is not on board with me anymore and its definitely making a negative impact on me. I have been going to the gym without him for months, and I will continue to. All the drinking he wants to do lately is taking a toll on my weight. I have only lost 35 pounds this year. That's not my goal. I will not drink any more wine. I am back together with my self control. I cant even believe I have let the wine back in my body. DONE. I have to do this for myself. And, my daughters fight me everyday about what I make to eat. My youngest wants to eat junk. I don't have much to eat in the house that is unhealthy, but if I do, its Gone in one day. Ice cream cant even survive in my house for one day because she wants to eat it morning noon and night.My other daughter joined Tops a few weeks ago, and she has gained every week except the first week. Im discouraged. I don't normally journal negative things, because Im usually positive. but, I needed to get this off my chest. If you read this, thanks for listening. ;)
Diet Calendar Entry for 07 August 2014:
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1015 kcal
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Fat: 31.12g | Prot: 83.72g | Carb: 102.93g.
Lunch: Mission Flour Tortillas (Small), Ortega Original Taco Sauce, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Jennie-O Lean Ground Turkey. Dinner: Beets, Pilgrim's Pride Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Open Pit Barbecue Sauce - Original, Stop & Shop Corn on the Cob, Aunt Millie's 35 Calorie Whole Grain Bread, Kraft Light Catalina Reduced Fat Dressing, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Jennie-O Lean Ground Turkey. Snacks/Other: Broccoli, Winn-Dixie Small Curd 4% Milkfat Cottage Cheese, Keebler Town House Flipsides Original Pretzel Crackers. more...
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 Comments
07 Aug 14 by member: Verse
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Don't feel discouraged, Paulacolette...you sound like a determined woman who has made up her mind to forge ahead! Don't be so hard on yourself....the female body is sooo crazy...a lot of times we gain weight at certain times of the month (water retention)....I really have this bad! I am behind you 100% and hope that things will start getting better for you!
07 Aug 14 by member: makeupfetish09
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Better to vent and let it out, then to let it grow. I feel your pain. I feel like such a failure with my weight loss. But we need to pick ourselves up and go again. And believe me...that is something I have done many, many, many times. What drives you? What is your reasoning to lose?
07 Aug 14 by member: crystal2575
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Vent away! Venting relieves stress. Stress causes more weight gain. Just do it here, in black and white, to make you feel better. And .... so you won't leave a trail that your family can find lol. You can go back later and delete your posts if any of your family joins you on FS! Lose the weight for yourself, don't worry about your family or others. They might get on board when they decide to on their own. If you try to push them, it may make the healthy transition a lot worse, for you and for them. This is your life, and your health! Most of the FS members like supporting each other. Take care and good luck!
07 Aug 14 by member: kattay
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Dear Paulacolette,
thank you for your refreshing honesty. I so love to see true passion coming out of a person. Especially someone who is learning a new way to respond to life! I want to applaud you. Long ago I was in a marriage where alcohol was the drug of choice. I left that marriage because I realized through a lot of really kind people that I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who was present with me. Not flailing around out in Lala land. I wanted a partner who supported who I really was and who I wanted to be. Now I'm not saying that your marriage is like mine was. I'm saying that eventually I got what you seem to be getting now, that it didn't have anything to do with him. It wasn't what he did or didn't do. But rather it was that I needed to be present, aware and accountable to myself. I still have that lesson. And I still love that lesson. So thank you for reminding me of it.
Power to the VENT!
I just love the support on this site so thank you all for your great comments to Paulacollette too. We're all so awesome. Aren't we?
07 Aug 14 by member: kimberly rae
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Venting is good! This way it is out and now you just move forward. Don't worry, we can help keep you accountable. Can't we guys?
07 Aug 14 by member: Kathy Vanish
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Hey girl,it makes it worth while being here,this is why we are all together ,to help each other thru good and bad.Vent away.I bet many of ud have the same problem.I know I do.
08 Aug 14 by member: sandycatiller
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You guys are FREAKING AWESOME!!! Just the support from strangers that I totally needed right now!! Humanity is good sometimes, and even though you may not know the effect you have on some, you really do! Thanks.
14 Aug 14 by member: paulacolette
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