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It's Wednesday morning and it's cloudy again :-/
I noticed I am in a much better mood when it's sunny and hot, I guess it's kind of normal that mood is affected by thw weather, but to me it's a bit extreme. Maybe sunny days make me feel good because they remind me of the Italian summer.
Actually, this is the first summer in six years that I really enjoy. Six years ago, my last year of Bachelor, I had six weeks of real holidays. Then, after that, I only had maybe one or two weeks of holidays in the summer, but it was always a stressful time. It seems like yesterday, 2006, and all of a sudden 6 years are gone and many things in my life happened. Sometimes I wish many bad events did not happen... But these are things from which I can learn a lot.
Yesterday I went taking pics of skaters and bikers in the nearby park (it seems I live there... It just 3min walking from home, so it's kind of true). And then went to the usual cafè on the lake and had a German "Eiskaffee", which is a cold coffee with a scoop of vanilla icecream. Its good, but it means too much sugar and lactose, which is not a good thing for me right now. Anyways, I enjoyed a lot walking and taking pics. Then swam in the river, I am getting used to the cold temperature of the water!
In the past few months I have been spending my time mainly at home, kicking myself to go outwhen I needed to buy food and sometimes to go to an indoor swimming pool. It was not easy for me to go out.
Now it's easier going outside and I start to enjoy again things I do.
I think I took so little care of myself in tha past 6 years. On 2006 I practiced yoga every morning for 90 min, took really care of what I was eating, went swimming 3times a week and had an intense social life. My performance in studying was indeed very good. Then I started overdoing, not having proper holidays, not eating regularly and without checking quality of food, being overwhelmed by stress, stopped doing any sport... I had less and less energy. Then all of a sudden I engaged in a relationship where the other one did not have any care and attention for me (not at the beginning, of course). But when my mother had cancer again, I bound myself to that man and tried to hold on, tried to go on with studies and career.
Then, last year my mother died and a couple of months later my husband has shown his worse side, by beating me and abusing me.
Then the battle started. He did not want to divorce, but wanted me to accept and live with was he was doing to me. I left our common home. I am glad on December 2011 he eventually signed divorce documents.
Since then I haven't been able to work anymore.
It has been a nightmare, and it's not easy for me to trust people and to enjoy anything.
I am feeling a bit better since one month, I hope to be able to work soon. My father is wishing me to stop working, moving back to his hometown and take care of him as a wife would do. I really don't want to do that, since I have my own life, even if I am stuck at the moment.
Thanks a lot to all FS buddies who are so much supporting me!! You help me a lot!!
Diet Calendar Entry for 22 August 2012:
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1750 kcal
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Fat: 85.53g | Prot: 74.74g | Carb: 178.65g.
Breakfast: Riso Bianco, Burro (Salato), Gallette di Riso Integrali ai Multicereali, Prosciutto Crudo. Lunch: Pesto, Pasta Integrale Secca. Dinner: white rice, carrot, red peppers, Olio Extra Vergine di Oliva, Pomodori Ciliegini, Arrosto di Petto di Pollo alla Griglia o al Forno (senza Pelle). Snacks/Other: goat cheese, Gelati alla Vaniglia, Pistacchi Tostati a Secco (senza Aggiunta di Sale). more...
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