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Weight History
showing entries 76 to 80 of 277
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11 October 2020
Last night was horrible. Nothing to be proud of. I ate so much my body was screaming signs of over-fullness, the inability to contain everything I've stuffed in my mouth. It was literally showing me it cannot manage with that much food and fat. It was overworking itself to keep up. That's definitely not cool of me to put my body under so much abuse after what it's done for me for 31 years. It's so easy for me to regret instead of think ahead. I've simplified the process for myself, making it easier to hate myself. It's all so unnecessary.
Weigh-in:
260.1 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
83.8 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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gaining 0.5 lb a week
01 October 2020
Didn't have a good day today. It was far too rushed and stressful. I work best from home. It's sad, coz I like being around people as well. And then the bf comes home from work, being loud and obnoxious, disrupting my peace and the war I'm having with my mind & food. A constant fight for freedom from binge urges. Bruised and battered from the emotional stress, beating myself up daily and calculating just how much self- loathing I should experience for the rest of the evening because of my binge-eating. And the bf doesn't understand wtf is going on. Why is she suddenly silent? It's because you will never understand how much I hate this side of me.
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07 September 2020
Today I start my 8 week fitness challenge. I've just completed my first workout - focusing on leg strength and I am so disgusted, frustrated and disappointed with myself. I used to be able to do full burpees 3 years ago. Now I can't even focus on doing more than 15 squats or 20 seconds skipping. ☹️ I know this is the beginning and it will get better from here, but I couldn't even complete the entire workout. ☹️ I can feel how I struggle dragging 117kg along. It's not easy at all. I pray I get to a better state of health. I've let myself go, but I will get to my best.
Weigh-in:
257.9 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
81.6 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 1.5 lb a week
07 July 2020
Oats, banana and PB2 butter + Rocket, strawberries and raspberries. Was delicious and filling. Trying to eat more than less, in the hopes that my night time binges will stop and no longer be necessary.
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06 July 2020
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