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02 September 2014

AFter giving up and basically forgetting about this for months, I decided last week to get back in the saddle. Today I started a new plan that is just something I made up. I do not do well with choices and variety (too much temptation), so I am going to eat the same thing every day to let my body get in a groove. My food plan is going to be a breakfast smoothie with peanut butter, banana, plain yogurt, almond milk, and chia seeds. Lunch and dinner are going to be pre-made salads from Wal Mart (I like the Caesar and the Fiesta). Today I have already had my smoothie, but I made too much and it was almost 1000 calories. Tomorrow I am going to cut the smoothie portion in half and go from there. Weight loss goal remains 125-130 pounds and I weight 165 now, which is my lifetime high, higher even than the days I delivered my kids in 1996 and 1998. :(

02 September 2014

Weigh-in: 165.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 35.0 lb Diet followed N/A

02 September 2014

Weigh-in: 165.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 35.0 lb Diet followed N/A

23 April 2014

Went to first follow up visit with weight doctor yesterday and he was very pleased that I am down a few pounds in two weeks. With my history of liquid diets or diet pills in which I would have lost 15 pounds by now, I was kind of freaked out, but he said this is the right way to lose weight and that I am finally on the right track. So, that helped calm me down and I felt really good about going slow and not going for the quick fix and further ruining my metabolism by crash dieting. I feel healthy and good and even if it takes me longer to get there, I can do this. The only thing that worries me is that he told me the next phase is to cut my carbs down to 50 grams a day, and I wasn't even successful at keeping them under 80. I am terrible at guesstimating how much I am eating and I always seem to go over before I have even realized it. For example, I just finished a very healthy breakfast of mixed fresh berries with milk, banana, and splenda. Good for me, right? Wrong, apparently. I am supposed to have 50 grams of carbs for the entire day, and breakfast alone was 60. So, back to the drawing board. I think I need to start using a tool such as the Atkins book or a list of some kind to educate myself about carbohydrates BEFORE I start eating, rather than after it is too late and I am shocked. I will say, though, that blowing my diet on berries and milk is a huge improvement over starting my day with a dozen cookies or a huge bowl of chocolate pudding, which I have done most of my life with no second thought. So, I am over the carb limit, but I am feeding my body well and teaching myself to live without my addiction triggers, and so I am still moving forward slowly but surely.

18 April 2014

Today I just want to give a huge shout-out to my Dad and my son. Reviewing my food journal is at times like looking at a menu at a very nice restaurant. I have been enjoying venison cutlets, rainbow trout, and garden green beans and sweet potatoes all because my dad grows his own vegetables and fishes and my son took up hunting last fall and bagged his first deer. Although I have profound empathy for the suffering of animals, I am also a carnivore through and through who does not do well at all without meat and lots of it in my diet. Having access to wild fish and game with NO CHEMICALS harvested by people who love me makes my food a part of a circle of love and nurturing that helps heal me with every bite. This may sound to "woo woo" for some people, but I believe that toxic intent, toxic ingredients, and mindless ingestion are disease inducing. As a food addict, I am grateful to my marrow for food that won't make me crave, make me sick, make me relapse. It is hard to feel sorry for yourself because you can't have a Pepsi or a peanut butter sandwhich when there is a bag of fresh trout in the refrigerator or a freezer full of venison. I have a friend who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer 15 years ago. Upon her diagnosis, her husband decided to keep their freezer full of wild fish and game at all times so that she never again had to eat processed food. When I think about love, I think about Matt walking through the woods to bring back good food for his mate and I think about how Cheryl has survived 15 years when she was supposed to have one year. Today, I am thankful for my two guys, my dad and my son, who are out there doing the same thing and bringing back the food I need to avoid the diabetes diagnosis I am supposedly heading toward otherwise. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Joshua. I love you both. Journal entry dedicated to Matt B., Klamath Falls, Oregon and his lovely wife Cheryl.

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