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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 5 of 15
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03 December 2009
I've been away for awhile. I have a whole bunch of excuses I could use but the bottom line is... I gave up.
Three people in my life died within a month's time. That was back in May and I'm just now pulling out of the depression and grieving mode I was in. I think my sister's death hit me the hardest. She was 38 and my only sibling. Her death certificate listed her cause of death as "complications of morbid obesity". She was 5' 5" and weighed somewhere around 400lbs. In her last 2 or 3 years of life she stayed sick almost all the time and wouldn't go to the doctor. I think she gave up on life, gave up hope and just quit. I wasn't there for her. I didn't like being around her for many reasons. She was extremely lazy and smelled bad. I blame myself now for not being a sister, for not trying harder to get her up and help her want to live. I never once thought about it or even imagined that she could die. I should have atleast tried to force her to talk to me but I didn't. Now it's too late. At the time of her death she lived with our mother and her 19 year old son. Momma found her at 4:30am on the kitchen floor where she had collapsed a few hours earlier. She was gone.
My very good male friend died 6 days later of a massive heart attack. He was also very large.
I see myself heading down the same path and it scares me. I don't want to die like that. My lifestyle is killing me... a slow horrible death. It's pretty bad and really sad when you can't even do the most simplest daily activities and personal hygiene. For example... to put on my shoes I have to sit on the couch sideways, pull up one leg, put my shoe on, tie it and then switch to the other side to get to the other foot. I'm not even gonna describe my contortionist act I do in the restroom.
I hate the way I look and the way I feel all the time. I've decided to do something drastic. After years of diets, yo yo weight-loss and gain, I'm looking into Bariatric Surgery. Last night I attended a surgical weight loss seminar. The only surgeon in my area, in this field, was the host and he recommended the Lap Band. I have already done research on this procedure and I'm considering it. I know I have to do something, I can't keep going on like this.
If you've read this far... thank you and I'm sorry. I just had to get some things off my chest 'so to speak'. I think it helps to get it out, helps clear up my mind where I can think better.
Weigh-in:
323.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
148.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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gaining 1.0 lb a week
28 April 2009
Weigh-in:
293.0 lb
lost so far:
17.0 lb
still to go:
118.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 14.0 lb a week
27 April 2009
This past weekend was a nightmare on my diet. We had a death in the family on Thursday, my grandmother. So there was family I haven't seen in years and so much food food and more food. What can you do when you got aunts coming from all sides saying, eat eat... And when you tell them you are on a diet they look at you like you said a cuss word. There was fried chicken, BBQ chicken and pork, potato salads, cornbread dressings, just to name a few, and we ain't even gonna talk about the cakes and pies! Down here in the deep south folks can cook and believe in eating. It's so hard when you're sad and depressed and food in your face. At least they had diet sodas. I think I did pretty good. Alot less than I would've ate in the past but much too much than I'm supposed to eat now.
I'm not going to worry myself about it too much. Just another bump in my road. I'm just going to pick myself up, brush myself off and get back on track. And not weigh myself till next week, lol.
(1 comment)
27 April 2009
Weigh-in:
295.0 lb
lost so far:
15.0 lb
still to go:
120.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 1.4 lb a week
22 April 2009
Weigh-in:
296.0 lb
lost so far:
14.0 lb
still to go:
121.0 lb
Diet followed 100%
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losing 5.4 lb a week
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