JeanPant's Journal, 18 December 2015

oh my God, I've reached a halt with my weight-loss. FUCKing frustrating! I got my period and that slowed everything down. If you know me, you'd know I lose 5kg and then I just STOP and gain everything back + more. I've lost 5.8kg so far...and I'm trying hard to break the 5kg-curse. This time it's different.

This time I WANT to lose more. In fact, I want to lose 25 more kilograms. My Diabetes levels are perfect - my average is 7.5mmol/g. I'm so poes determined that I want to blow a gasket if I see a gram too many fat in my plate. I weigh myself everyday (Yes, this is a bad habit, but gaining weight is a bad thing too so pick one?!) and I literally chase the scale. The past 2 weeks has however been one fucking dreading tortoise run.

I'm hanging in there and I need to be patient but once again I'm seeing that summer doesn't wait for you. Pool parties don't wait for YOU to get into shape. They just show up and BAMM you're invited!

So you pack in your big fat one piece costume and shorts to cover your drilling thunder-thighs and venture off to the party/camp/braai hoping that it would rain or that no one would swim. Then...at the braai/camp/party you're surrounded by hot girls and guys...and you come up with the excuse that has saved you for many many years - "I've got my period and no, I won't use your tampons."

I'm sick of this. This has been my situation since I can remember. Even as child I experienced this. Enough! I want to ask: "Is there a pool?" when I'm invited to a party/camp/braai. I want to pose on pictures with my friends with my middrif and thighs showing. Fuck, for once in my life I don't want to avoid avoiding to look at pictures I'm in. For how many years have I been on and off with diet and exercise plans. Not even a fitness trainer could fix me. I have to fix myself.

I've started doing that. I've made better food choices. I've said no to SO MANY THINGS and I don't miss. I feel good that I said no. I weigh myself every morning and I weigh my food with every meal. I'm doing this. This is my time.

In 2015 I've reached a turning point...I was unhappy with my job and fought to get a new job. I was unhappy being friends with a psychotic, dramatic and opportunistic bitch and then one day...she showed me the door. I've felt so much better about myself since that day. Negativity can find itself in many forms...I'm negative about my body weight and how I look. I'm doing something about it. Seeing the results make me positive that I can achieve something. In 2016, I WILL reach my goalweight. If there's one thing I promise myself, it's to reach that 76kg digit on the scale. I'll be the happiest girl alive.

Two goals for 2016:
- Reach my goalweight;
- Make more friends and hopefully find my soulmate-friend (the type of friend you can share an impeccable bond with)

If my body loses 5kg per month, I'll reach my goal weight in April. :) December 2016 will never be the same again. My life will never be the same again!!!! I'm excited for the future body. It will be nice to meet it.
221.1 lb Lost so far: 0 lb.    Still to go: 44.8 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.
losing 0.8 lb a week

   Support   


     
 

Submit a Comment


You must  sign in to submit a comment
 

Other Related Links

Members



JeanPant's weight history


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.