Annabelle3117's Journal, 22 March 2014

Bracing myself for the "you're losing a gazillion pounds a week" notification lol. I don't know what's up with my weigh in this morning, but I thought I'll record it and hope to maintain it through the next week. Honestly I'm coming off my TOM and I think I'm just getting rid of a lot of extra water weight that has been weighing me down. I will still dance a jig in my kitchen over it anyway. You should see me, I'm an awesome kitchen dancer. lol

I have an even more exciting announcement though, after lunch with my buddy she told me she had a lot of jeans she was getting rid of and wanted me to look through them to see if I wanted them. There were five size 14's, a couple 16's & 18's. I immediately thought, 14's LMAO. ALL of the fourteens fit... shut the front door!! I'm a size fourteen?!?! So I left with five pair of size fourteen jeans, and I danced the night away in my kitchen over it. I was in a size 24 jean when I started this journey.

So now I want to talk to you about perspective. Apparently, it makes all the difference, even more so than the number on the scale. I believe I have caught up to the friend that kindly donated to me the jeans she can no longer wear. I was ninety pounds heavier than her when I started. I always thought she looked good. Same thing with my cousin who I happen to be within eight pounds of now. I distinctly remember thinking, If I could just look like them, god I would be so happy. Because they're not fat. They would tell you otherwise about themselves, but I always thought they looked great, beautiful girls. Now I have caught up with them (muahahaha) and they still think they are 'fat' while I'm waltzing around like I'm hot
shit.It's all perspective. Coming from where I'm from, I'm so hot rain sizzles when it hits me, yet young ladies on here at my goal weight think they look super gross. Well rain on my parade why don't ya! lol (that was a joke) Now I am super excited about the 'love yourself' challenge that most of us are going to be participating in here soon, because we really need to learn how to love the skin were in. Ive come to the conclusion that self esteem has nothing to do with the number on the scale, if you don't love yourself now you won't in twenty pounds. There is no magical point in this weight loss journey where you are going to wake up and love yourself, be confident etc. For me it has been not only a journey of weight loss but of facing my fears and chasing down my demons. I have confronted family members that I had big problems with from my childhood, faced my insecurities by going to the gym and believing myself an equal to even the most fit people there. And I have also even found some group therapy here, that has helped me work through some other issues. (you all have been amazing, I am blessed for that)

You are more than a number, more than inches, more than a success or a failure. You are composed of multiple elements, defined by thousands of decisions that you make every day. Be the best 'you' you can be, and be proud of that at the end of the day. You are loved, you are extremely important to your loved ones, you need to love yourself the way they love you. You are invaluable.

Have a wonderful day!

192.2 lb Lost so far: 93.8 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1431 kcal

Fat: 76.83g | Prot: 113.48g | Carb: 68.11g.   Breakfast: Kellogg's FiberPlus Antioxidants Protein Chewy Bars - Peanut, Egg, Meijer Split Top Wheat Bread, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer, Egg White, Bertolli Olive Oil, Oscar Mayer Real Bacon Bits, Sargento Reduced Fat Colby-Jack Shredded Cheese. Lunch: Kraft Light Ranch Reduced Fat Dressing, Smithfield Boneless Pork Shoulder Picnic Roast. Dinner: TGI Friday's Grilled Chicken Cobb Salad. more...