|
Good morning, Fatsecret friends!
First of all, thank you so much for all the support from you guys yesterday. It really means a lot to me. So much good information, sharing of experience, comforting, Nimm, I really appreciate your input. You ARE the godfather around here. Of course it's about building muscle, upping the calories and all that, but as SkInny pointed out, that is next step, as I'm being "oppressed by the system" here. As soon as I get the approval to exercise, I'm going in that direction. Until then, it's all about the numbers.
The gain is most likely not a problem for the doctors. I'm sure they see this happening every so often. I'm sure I'm not the first person to stress about this surgery. I have already been approved to have it done, and I'm sure they won't take it away. However, I want to be at the right weight when we stand face to face tomorrow and Monday.
Wow. Did I just write "tomorrow"? It's amazing how time flies. It seems only a moment ago that this surgery was light years away.
So, anyways, what is the result of my efforts yesterday? What did I end up doing to quickly drop weight?
Let's start with the menu:
Breakfast:
2 boiled aggs with a little pepper and chili powder
Lunch:
One small csn of tuna (water, not oil)
Two eggs.
Dinner:
About 80% of a small chicken breast
A handful of oven roasted green beans
5 or 6 mushrooms
That's all I ate. Over the course of the day I probably drank 6-8 liters of water. A LOT OF WATER. Let me point out that this menu in no way was an attempt to starve myself through the day to accomplish a weight loss. It was an attempt to not eat more than necessary and still be full. I was in no way hungry at any point. Actually, this morning I was still full and could have skipped breakfast, if it wasn't for the fact that breakfast kicks the metabolism in gear. Mom always told us to eat breakfast, and I'm telling you the same thing. :-)
I could tell that I had focus om protein, and skipped the carb. I felt full all day, and I had absolutely no urge for snacks. Of course, the heavy weigh-in also aided me in resisting cards.
I got a great amount of exercise in also. I did 30 minutes on the bike in the morning, music blaring, and with focus on my pace. The music helps. I csn tell even today, though I'm journaling from my bike, that I go faster because if the music. It does push me forward to put it in my headphones and crank it up!
At work we hadn't meeting with a partner company and I opted to walk out there. It's about a kilometers (roughly two miles) each way and I walkwsnback and forth, earning me about 100 minutes of movement. Nice. Of course, I sent the rest of my work day standing up.
So how did I do?
I think I had the greatest day-to-day drop in weight ever! I lost 2.2 kgs, and I am now 82.1 kgs. Much much better, though there is still a little way to go for me to be fully satisfied. I'm proud of my accomplishments yesterday, though. I did great and had not expected such a difference.
I wonder if I csn knock off more weight today? Normally, I wouldn't expect a weight loss after such a high knock down yesterday, but one can always hope, and of course work for it.
The game plan is the same as yesterday. Bicycling, possibly along, and very reasonable food choices without being hungry, and tons and tons of water. I think that's about all I can do here.
...
Today is my last day at work before my sick leave.
I am in no way ready for it, but I feel that I've done what I can. A few other colleagues are out on sick- or maternity leave, so my boss has wisely decidednto hire a couple of consultants to take care of the urgent things in our cases while we're out. I am SO appreciative for that. It'll make me stress a lot less while out. I'm gonna try hard to simply forget work and focus on ME while I'm out. It's nice to know that I'll be able to do this.
It's a long day though, and inwill be there till the bitter end. Got some thing to finish that I want to do myself and not hand over to someone else.
Wife is baking cakesnfir the afternoon gathering as always, and made some extra treatsmfor me to take to the team i work in as a little "see you later" thing. I know they'll like it.
...
I'm so looking forward to getting out of work, get the surgery donenand recovery. I'm SO ready to be DONE! This whole work/sick leave thing has taken up a lot of realty in my head lately. Imwant to be my normal self again, less worries, more in control.
However, an interesting thought hit me the other day. It's about identities.
It's been 20 months of weight loss for me. I have pretty much aced it all the way. It's been "what I am" for such a long time, and now I see the end of it.
Then what? In some way my identity has to change. It can no longer be me losing weight. Of course, it can be me maintaining weight, but that should be a given. So the question is what will be next?
I'm thinking that music, work, weight loss class and rockin' with the kids will take up the main space, but I am more curious about the little slots inbetween. During work days, chit chats with friends etc.
I've made some new contacts at work and in my private life, and some of those have chosen to NOT let in on my weight loss, simply to try to be another identity in their view of me. Some of them hear about it from coworkers or mutual friends, but I try to not make it my main identity when I'm with them.
It's difficult, though. Before I lost weight, being large was definitely a part of my identity. I'd occasionally refer to myself as "The fat one" in third person, just joking around. Itnwas never meant in a way to put myself down, but merely a way to refer to yself in a fun way. Actually, I still do sometimes. It's a habit that won't let go. I think it just shows us how deep this sits in us.
Maybe I should get away from using "the Fat one" by replacing it with "the skinny bitch"? :-)
Anyways, my point to all this is that I think I need to stop thinking of me as either being fat or losing weight, but start thinking about more of me being healthy and active. I think that the mindset we choose will guide us to our results. If we try losing weight, but still see ourselves as being fat, then the journey will be much harder than if we csn see ourselves as thin - or at least thinner. Never say "no thanks. I'm TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT". Instead, say "no thanks, I'M LOSING WEIGHT". To quote Mater Yoda (and thus revealing my age by quoting Empire Strikes Back while thinking of it fondly) : "Do not try. Do. "
Today, I'm thankful for :
- a huge drop in weight. I'm so glad that I got on the scale and did something about it.
- a full hour bike ride at a pretty decent intensity, while journaling. I put my focus on biking, so I hope my journal makes sense.
- last day at work!
- Wife, for being supportive on days like yesterday when I'm sure I'm a whiny bitch. :-)
So, here goes another day jam packed with protein, water and exercise. Bring it on! Let's see if it's possible to drop more weight for tomorrow.
Guess what! Life is good!
|