livingdeadgirl-'s Journal, 29 March 2012

It sounds like you are in a fragile situation. I would suggest be careful about the strict grueling exercise regime. Definitely try to see how much you can do, but I think it's not a good idea to make that a prerequisite to doing something you enjoy. Since the ideal mentality behind lasting success is that this is supposed to be more of a lifestyle change, it might be better to take small steps towards overall change than trying to overwrite your current patterns so abruptly. I don't know you well at all, so my advice might not be right for you. I just wanted to throw my two cents in with the hopes that it might be helpful to you. I hope you feel better soon. 

I will sometimes give myself "rules" like that. I can not do X until i have done X etc, but saying nothing enjoyable until you do those things can sometimes make it feel so daunting and I know it would put me in a bad mood. Try to lighten up on yourself a bit. This is all a journey not a destination. Take a bit of time for yourself and read a book, take a nice walk, hang out at the park, etc. to give yourself time to process things. I also recomend seeing a counselor if you are struggling on an emotional level. I think everyone, regardless of how emotionally healthy they think they are, should have a great therapist.