Annabelle3117's Journal, 26 June 2014

Good morning everyone!! I survived the long work day yesterday!! Hooray :) I have today off, another long day tomorrow then I'm home free for the weekend. The hubs and I are going to take the kids to that fancy pants amusement park on Saturday, so that's something to look forward to.

Financial stress was the theme of the morning, have to confront the bills eventually! I'm actually doing okay, but I have a credit card that has gotten away from me. (I hate credit cards) Missed one payment and boom, you owe us one million dollars! I think I'm going to run it up to my bank and see if they will refinance it with a better interest rate and where the funds are automatically deducted from my check before it even hits my account. That was how I got out from under my wedding ring debt. Better to nip this before it becomes a thing, I have great credit and I have to keep it that way. I want a house!!! Putting that away to deal with another day...

Yesterday was a good day. I had some moments, but I stuck to my intake plan. When I got home I went for a 2.2 mile walk, just the dog and I. It was very peaceful and helped me clear my mind. It's kind of like ice on a injury though, it only helps while it's there. As soon as I got back from my walk... bahhh! These kids, omg. Keep reminding myself that life is short and to enjoy what I've got. It's just hard to enjoy their constant fighting and whining. Deep breaths, I know they grow up quick.

My husband is still in a rut, I could feel it as soon as I walked in the living room to see him after work yesterday. That sucks. I played online poker with him and lost all of my imaginary money. lol. I wish I could bippity boppity boop him into happiness, poor guy.

Saw my brother yesterday, he is still singing the song of sobriety. I want to believe him, I really do. It's exhausting to see and listen to him. I just don't know. I know what I saw in his room, some tiny aluminum foil squares and a capful of water. No, it wasn't here from before he left because I scoured that room while he was in rehab. Also, the night I found that he was nodding out mid conversation... using for sure. But now he is seeing a doctor for depression, seems awake and active... but he is spending a lot of time with his buddy shane, who is a known junkie loser that will never get his shit together. That shit will wear you down, big time.

My husband always asks me "What do you think, babe"? I always reply "I try not to". That's the truth. Thinking is more trouble than it's worth.

All in all, still trying to focus on me. I'm the important one here lol. I'm going to the gym for a power hour later today when my husband gets home. (Might be longer than an hour) I'll do some time on an exercise machine, maybe the recumbent bike, and some strength training. I'm focused on getting those miles, lol even though the challenge hasn't started yet. I've gotten four miles in this week but I was only walking which is way below what I normally do. I still have giant blisters healing on my big toes and it's taking forever! The left toe is actually pretty painful and swollen yet. Baby steps. Better get over that crap by the first, 75miles in 31days.... I'm going to do it.

I put an ad on a garage sale site looking for a bike. Hopefully I can get one to take down to the trails, I would be so excited to be able to go biking!!! I almost never spend money on myself, but I've come to the conclusion that my husband isn't going to so I better if I want a bike before our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Men, they don't listen even when you spell it out for them. Ah well, I love the boy regardless.

I hope all of you are well, and that you have a truly wonderful day. Much love!

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1432 kcal

Fat: 59.44g | Prot: 108.58g | Carb: 130.27g.   Breakfast: Bertolli Olive Oil, Borden 2% Milk American Cheese Slices, Great Value Fat Free Smoked Turkey Breast, Great Value Whole Wheat Bread, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer. Lunch: Kraft Sweet & Spicy Chipotle Barbecue Sauce, Lakeland Hamburger Bun, EAS Lean 15 Protein Powder - Chocolate Fudge, Smithfield Pork Roast. Dinner: Beatrice Skim Milk, Thomas' Light Multi-Grain English Muffin, Bob Evans Original Pork Sausage Patties (59g), Egg. more...

2625 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Exercise machine (fast) - 30 minutes, Bicycling (leisurely) - <10/mph - 15 minutes, Weight Training (moderate) - 20 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 55 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...