MrsTofu's Journal, 04 August 2010

Maybe you should consider making small changes instead of drastic ones all at once. That might make reaching your goals easier. It is hard to watch what you eat and exercise regularly, but the reward for the hard work is so good. I mean mentally you'll feel so much better. 

forgive ur mistake for today, and tomorrow get up with a smile on your face and say......I will do this..You are not alone, and together we can do it.....one hour at a time... 

I think making small goals makes for a lot more satisfaction and achievability-- I know that your goal weight seems so far away (you are closer than I am!!!) but I think it makes a big difference to break it into smaller goals, increments of 5 lbs or whatever. Also- make your healthy eating less rigid, don't beat yourself up over an episode of uncontrolled eating but instead reflect on what caused it, how it made you feel and what you can do to better set yourself up for success. Are you having trouble eating healthy because Oreos in the pantry are too tempting? Then replace the Oreos with sugar free fudgesicles orrr those yogurts with the mixins on the lid of Oreo or next time you want Oreos or whatever go to the store, go to the bulk food section where they often have cookies sold singly where you put them in a bag and get three or four to have as a yummy dessert! Or if you want pizza, go to a place where you can buy pizza by the slice and buy one. The key to avoid disappointment and depression is to avoid unrealistic expectations, but not to sell yourself short. You ARE resigning yourself to mediocrity if you let yourself feel you are.  

I'm trying to keep that in mind. In regards to depression, I have a physiological pre-disposition towards it. My doctor said my biochemical imbalance means I may have to take antidepressants indefinitely in order to maintain good health. That kind of ticks me off. I resented taking meds when I was younger. Irrational reasons I know, though still hard to ignore. Even today there is just so much stigma and misunderstanding about mental illness. It's not an outsider thing either, I know I help create or add to my own stigma. I am trying to accept/ give permission to myself for the help I know I need, it definitely is trying sometimes. I keep wanting to prove I am not so 'defective' that I need drugs to stop feeling sad instead of taking control of my mind and not letting my emotions rule me. I think the five lb goal is a good idea. The reason I mentioned the exercise is that for me that is an easier way to lose weight. When I worked out I had energy and didn't feel hungry or bored (feeling bored or moody prompts overeating because I eat for the feel good aspect of it, rather than the nourishing facet of food). I didn't get so hung up on my caloric budget because I could eat more closely to my natural diet, cutting back only slightly. I think that I don't have issues with the kinds of food I eat so much as the quantities. I don't drink soda and alcohol (it tastes bad to me), I don't buy chips, cookies, or ice cream. I rarely even buy cheese any more because beside being expensive, my husband isn't able to eat it in his diet--too much saturated fat, no fiber, not the best source of protein. I do tend to eat several portions, so that's what trips me up. I have trouble isolating and eliminating the eating for fun/pleasure. Again I think if I get back into more regular exercise that I'll start having more success again.