kingkeld's Journal, 19 February 2013

Good morning, Friends.

Yesterday started off so well, so motivated, so ready to go.

Sadly, I didn't feel good about the day at all, and I ended up in miserable mental hole, feeling crappy, and eating my way out of it. I didn't do TOO bad, and I did manage a little self controld, but I also stopped counting, bought chocolate (d'oh!) and generally didn't do what I was supposed to.

Rough estimate says about 1000 calories damage that I didn't count on. Essentially, this didn't even bring me higher than calories burned on the day, but it pushes me away from goal, and puts a new low on Saturday in serious jeopardy.

So, today I woke up angry at myself, and nothing less than terrified of getting on the scale. And what do you know - I'm still down 300 gram.

This is in no way my doing. lol.

Anyways, today I will be on a serious mission to fully - FULLY - compensate for the damages yesterday. I need to do this to redeem myself.

I started off this morning by NOT logging on to my PC. Instead I went walking. A lot. It's 8 AM now, and my step counter on my phone says 13,000 steps - and I believe it's pretty accurate. This gives me a "bonus burn" of about 500 calories, so I just need to do right on the food.

I had no appetite this morning, being upset about my STUPID choices yesterday. So I just had one eggs for breakfast, instead of my usual meal. I also didn't bring 2nd breakfast. I will skip that. I will (probably) also be skipping lunch. This will be an "intermittend fasting" day of sorts. I'm counting on my dinner to be my main course, and it's über low calories. 233 to be exact.

Daughter made minestrone yesterday! She NEVER cooks, but in a moment of insanity she offered to cook all week, her being off on school break and all. She's wanting to lose weight too, and I'm easing her into my system. So she is focused on good, healthy foods. Nice.

Today's dinner (and lunch, should I decide to have any) will be leftover minestrone. No meat, pretty much all veggies. Not bad.

Going for my long walk this morning, and writing this journal, really makes me feel better. I was really bummed out this morning. Badly.

Now, it's better. I am hoping that a productive day at work will help too - get my mood back to where it's supposed to be, and give me the drive to do right.

The good thing is that the skipping half the breakfast and (potentially) skipping lunch isn't really something I do to punish myself. It's something I do to refocus. It's something I will do to remind myself that it's okay to be a little hungry. It's okay to not eat at the moment I'm hungry. It's okay to skip a meal, as long as I can eat normally at the next one.

And eat normally at dinner I will. There is no other option, as I brought it with me to work - I'm teaching tonight, Band Creation, so I have to eat at work before I go.

This means that dinner is already measured and calculated before I even went to work. Nothing much I can do other than have it. :)

After I come home from teaching, there will of course be the snack trap. I can handle that one - if nothing else I can do a smoothie or something, and I will STILL be under 600 calories which is the intermittend fasting limit.

I don't plan on going all the way back to that system right now though. I will only do it today - I need to feel that I am pitching in and doing something to compensate for yesterday. It'll make me feel good, and it'll make me feel accomplished. It will hopefully also give me a butt kick of a weigh-in tomorrow.

Today, I'm thankful for:
- ANGER! lol. Being to ticked off with myself that I went for an 8 kilometer walk before work. :) Not bad.
- Focus.
- Morning coffee at work.
- Time to write journals at work. I like my job. A lot.
- Daughter cooking! It's so sweet of her, AND the food yesterday was pretty good.
- Teaching tonight. It's always fun to go do.

Happy Tuesday. Here's to all us losers! Let's do it! Life is good!

203.9 lb Lost so far: 137.8 lb.    Still to go: 16.5 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

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4146 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Music playing - 2 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 3 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 6 hours, Desk Work - 30 minutes, Standing - 7 hours and 45 minutes, Sitting - 4 hours and 30 minutes. more...