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I was up of one rull kilo today, after craving all evening yesterday. Then I realized it's TOM and all of the previous make sense. Will record weight again after that, since now it is not the real one.
Had my meeting with my German-Italian speaking partner. I prepared few topics in German for tonight, ended up talking about different ones, but still in German. I am proud of myself! Slowly overcoming being shy when speaking a language I am learning.
We went to a good Italian restaurant, and for the first time after at least 4 years, I have been very choosy when looking at the menu. In the past I used to be like that, finding very few appealing meals and then going for the lighter one. For few years I felt like eating everything from the menu, usually ordering more food than I could actually eat.
Maybe it's a sign my relationship with food is slowly improving. I hope so, at least!
It has been a productive day, after so many months of nothing. I am seriously studying German, dowloading and listening to fairy tales, news, radio programs.
I think I have been preventing myself from living my life at my best. I haven't been able to focus on anything for such a long time. Now I am able to read a novel, learn German, focus on conversations, deal with many practical problems at the same time. It sounds fantastic! I think my brain was just overloaded with grief and pain, from too many bad events at the same time. Loosing my mom on January 2011 and realizing my marriage was over on July 2011 was too much, even if at that time I was trying to hold on and did not take care of myself.
I am such a happy person now, compared to the zombie I have been from 2008 till 2012. I am glad I able to enjoy life now. I accept myself as I am, look, weight, personality, successes and failures. I am what I am, period.
And I am proud of being a human being, of being me, of being alive, of all the opportunities I got.
Life is so so good!! :)
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