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Let the exercise begin!! A week ago, I vowed to start exercising 3 times a week. Nothing crazy; just enough to rev the motor. The closest I got to exercising was reading about treadmills on Amazon and then buying one. Phew, all that surfing sure tires a girl out! ;-)
Fast forward to yesterday....
Realising that it was almost a week since I made that vow, I started to mentally beat myself up for being so lazy and weak and thinking I would fail because I couldn't even muster up the will do do a lousy 30 min walk. Two years ago, that was no bother to me. Now, it feels intimidating. I don't want to do it. My only excuse is pure laziness with a sprinkling of fear thrown in.
After 5 mins of ranting and stamping my feet saying I don't WANT to do it; I'd had a tough day at work and was TIRED, my hubby put his foot down and told me to just go do it! That's exactly what I needed!! I needed someone to tell me to quit my whining and just do it! (Thanks Hubby!)
So, armed with a bottle of water and an ipod, I made the long trek to the treadmill... at least it felt like a long trek. It's only in the next room to me but I felt like 'dead man walking'... a sense of dread mounting with every step. Would I be able to stick 30 mins of gruelling exercise? And by gruelling, I mean 3 -4 mph! As I said... pathetic!
Those 30 mins felt more like 60 mins. It was not easy. It was not fun. It was harrrrrd. However, I did this to myself. I made it hard for me by not maintaining for the past year. I would have to face the consequences of my past inactivity.
30 mins later, I emerged, sweating, red-faced, completely and utterly exhausted; very demotivated but yet triumphant that I actually stuck with it. Why demotivated? Well, as I was walking/jogging, my body felt so... inefficient. Bits & pieces were wobbling; I felt my body swaying with each step (OK, "swaying" is a graceful way of saying "waddling") and I felt like I was just stomping along. When I used to run in 2010, my body felt so much more efficient. This time, my calves burned from the strain of having to support so much extra weight. I felt very depressed.
However, after cooling down, rewarding myself with half an Atkins bar and downing a lovely cool drink of lemonade, I reflected on my 30 mins of torture. I needed it. I needed to feel disappointed with myself and deflated. It made me realise how weak my muscles have become and how I need to work to strengthen them because if I can't do a fast walk/slow jog, then how am I physically going to support my body weight. I need to get healthy, not just for me but for my hubby. It was during this reflection that something changed in my attitude. I realised I WANTED to get fit. It was no longer "I have to get fit" but that I "want" to. That hit me like a tonne of bricks. Wow, the difference in attitude!
This morning, I was lazing in bed, emailing my sister on my BlackBerry, describing my weightloss journey when I realised "what the heck am I doing? I'm lazing about talking about getting fit yet here I am not actually doing anything to achieve that!" So I got up off my lazy butt and headed back down to the treadmill. I didn't want yesterday's "marathon" to be a once-off. I need to turn it into a habit.
30 mins later, I emerged feeling fantastic! I still only managed 1.6 miles in the 30 mins but my attitude had changed. I feel like I'm at the beginning of a long and difficult journey but at the end, it will be worth it and I'll look back on this journal and laugh at how I could think 30 mins was too much!
Sorry for rambling but I wanted to capture my attitude and emotions at the beginning of my journey to getting fit...
Happy Tuesday FS peeps! :-D
Diet Calendar Entries for 31 January 2012:
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880 kcal
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Fat: 30.27g | Prot: 101.41g | Carb: 48.64g.
Breakfast: canadian bacon. Lunch: Guacamole trader joe's, garden veggie pattie. Dinner: olive oil, Gluten Free Teriyaki Stir-fry & Marinade, seasoned rice wine vinegar, Cucumber, onions, red pepper, shrimp. Snacks/Other: Sugar Free Raspberry Gelatin, Atkins peanut butter fudge granola, Atkins mudslide bar. more...
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2648 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Shopping - 1 hour, Driving - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 9 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 30 minutes. more...
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