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Ugh...I'm so tired today. I don't even feel like work today. Eyes are burning - throwing a tantrum for not being closed. Going to Beef Cakes tonight. Sjoe - nervous about the food and alcohol and being out in public. I kind of just want to crawl into bed and sleep. I think there's 3 reasons for this - 1. I'm being very stingy with my money. 2. I don't want to cheat on my diet. 3. I just don't feel like seeing people or having to perform before others. Am I depressed? I have to look at the upside - I've never been there, this will be a first. I'll have a good time, I don't know why I feel like I won't have a good time. I say I'd feel better about going if I didn't have to spend R902 on a fucking tyre tomorrow. But is that true or am I just lying to myself to make me feel better about wanting to crawl into bed and not go out and meet new people? I think the latter.
I'm also super irritated this morning. Can't stand people talking to themselves. But talking in the sense that it's the same loudness level as you would've used when communicating with another person. Do you WANT me to say something? I don't really care about what you're saying...so why should I respond? Perhaps this is why I want to crawl into bed and not perform for other people. Don't think I would've made a good 'pop-star'. I can't do what others dictate me to do. Think I just need my bed again.
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