|
Day 16 is here! I am not feeling to great this morning. I'm not sure if I ate something that my stomache didn't agree with or if it is the stress in my life, which I have a lot of lately. Uhg. Hopefully I feel a little better as the day moves on!
I was reflecting on my journey last night and thinking about my terrible relationship with food and my body. Now that I am losing weight and feeling better about myself, I am finding that I am begining to slip into my old habits.
While growing up I went through multiple eating disorders. The whole spectrum and that was me. In patient treatment, out patient, you name it. I have done terrible damage to my body, teeth, stomache, removed gallbladder, PVC's, you name it. While that part of my life is removed and I hope and pray I don't get to that point again, I feel the urge. I enjoy the hunger pains. They let me know that I am not eating too much. My daily calorie intake is going down gradually and yesterday I found myself eating something just to get them a little higher. Yesterday I felt hungry at about 11 before my curves/lunch regimine and decided it was better to not eat and wait until I got back to save on my calories for the day. This is NOT the relationship I want to have with food. I want to eat a nice healthy snack when I feel hungry, not tell myself to save the calories for later. I want to not enjoy the feeling of hunger in my stomache. I want that feeling to signify that it is time to eat and cause alarm, not cause a feeling of joy. Grrrr.. So here is to hoping that I continue to be aware of what I am feeling and can take steps to not fall back into those terrible habits!
Diet Calendar Entries for 30 June 2010:
|
1044 kcal
|
Fat: 38.70g | Prot: 72.45g | Carb: 101.90g.
Breakfast: Egg, Thinwiches - European Classics. Lunch: Anytime Selection Pepporoni Minis. Dinner: round steak, Caesar Supreme Salad & Toppings. Snacks/Other: Granulated Sugar, Original Liquid Coffee Creamer, chobani. more...
|
|
3263 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Driving - 1 hour, Shopping - 1 hour, Housework - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 2 hours, Desk Work - 7 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 3 hours, Bicycling (moderate) - 13/mph - 30 minutes. more...
|
|