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16 April 2010

Hello Journal O' Mine which I have ignored for 2 weeks...

I am so not where I was nor where I want to be. Why? What did I do? Why did the switch of clarity turn off on me??? I was doing so well...on top of the world...nothing could stop me and now I've been stopped...I'm the old me instead of the new me. I'm still here but I'm not...I'm not giving up but I am frustrated.

Sometimes I need to do something drastic to get back on track...like a week or two of Southbeach induction...and then back to normal calorie counting. The real problem is that I'm not feeling that motivated to do that. So I could just do calorie counting without the SB...but I haven't been doing so well at that lately. I know what I should be doing...entering the food regardless of what it is but it's so depressing to do that just like some people say it's depressing to record weight gain so they wait until they lose weight to record it.

<sigh> I know what my problems are and I guess I know how to fix them...but why I can't fix them even though I know how to is beyond me and rather annoying.

I won't regain the weight I've lost...I can't go back up in clothing size...I've been giving them away as I lose weight.

I have to get back on track.
I have to get back on track.
I have to get back on track.

If I say that enough times, maybe it will work? ;)

(6 comments)

11 April 2010

Not having gained weight this past week is an absolute MIRACLE. I am grateful to be at the same weight and plan to make up for the no loss of this week with an extra loss next week.

Weigh-in: 240.0 lb

lost so far: 18.0 lb

still to go: 80.0 lb

Diet followed poorly

(2 comments) steady weight

08 April 2010

This has been my most challenging week since I've been on FS. Not happy with the week at all and I even let the food diary go by the way side this week which is SUPER BAD. It's funny how I can say I'm in such a great place on Sunday and then be in such a bad place Monday through Thursday. How does that work? <sigh> Oh well. I haven't given up and I'm not giving up...I figure that as long as I don't give up, I'm winning. Some weeks will be better than others. I'm really in need of turning this week around though. I was out of food so going to the grocery store tonight will make a big difference in the rest of the week.

I can do this.
I will do this.
I must do this.

I need to get back to my on-top-of-the-world feeling I was getting used to. :)

(6 comments)

05 April 2010

Note to self: DON'T EAT TOO MANY BAD CARBS!!!

I think I've actually left a similar note to myself in the past. Maybe at some point I'll actually learn...how many times does it take to learn something???

Even if I stay within my caloric limits, I really have to be careful about what I eat because when I eat the bad stuff I just CRAVE it so much and then the difficult cycle starts again. Hard to break it...I will break it...but right now I just want to eat...and junky stuff, too!

I'll just have a very low carb day and it will get me back on track!

(4 comments)

04 April 2010

I'm happy. Sometimes I think I COULD probably be losing a little faster but considering I NEVER feel deprived and know that I could live this way for the rest of my life, I'll take the less than 2lb/week rate. I've dieted so many times in my life...and every time I did intend for it to be a lifestyle change but the changes never became permanent because I'm sure I was trying to be too strict and make too many things off limits. There were a few times I didn't do that considering WW doesn't make you exclude anything from your diet...but even then, I wasn't in the right mindset. I was still in the "all or nothing" frame of mind so if I messed up one day, it was like the whole week was ruined and I'd have to "restart" on Monday (I can't tell you how many times I've restarted in my life even within a given dieting phase).

The difference this time is I know there is no end point. I know I can NEVER give up. There is no falling off the wagon. I don't think I've ever had the mentality that if I indulge a little in one meal, I have to cut back at the others. I've ALWAYS either thought one overindulgence ruined the day/week OR that I deserved to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I have definitely had a mind shift on that one--I know if I can't fit it in the caloric limit today, there's always tomorrow or the next day. And if I happen to go over the limit a little bit, life goes on and I'll just have to be more careful on the next day. I absolutely KNOW that this isn't rocket science but for as long as it's taken me to truly develop this mindset, it might as well be!

Life is good right now.

Weigh-in: 240.0 lb

lost so far: 18.0 lb

still to go: 80.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(4 comments) losing 1.8 lb a week

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