ChallengeMember's Journal

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13 July 2010

Weigh-in: 233.8 lb

lost so far: 24.2 lb

still to go: 73.8 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 1.0 lb a week

05 July 2010

Weigh-in: 235.0 lb

lost so far: 23.0 lb

still to go: 75.0 lb

Diet followed poorly

add comment steady weight

27 June 2010

First, a disclaimer to anyone who may be reading: I STILL have not figured this out...my slump...which is all mental. But I was definitely finding that journaling was helping before so I decided I needed to keep it up. I had stopped lately because I feel like I keep having the same thing to say...I feel like my journal could be read as me saying, "Poor me...what should I do?"...or as if I am just fishing for praise or something and I HATE that...and I don't want anyone to think that. I hate when people intentionally say something for the sole purpose of getting someone to disagree with them. A simple example would be someone saying, "I'm fat" just so they can hear someone say, "Oh no you're not...blah...blah...blah." So just so you know while I LOVE the support and it does really mean a lot to me, I don't want anyone reading to think I am just fishing for...who knows what!? LOL at myself because by now, I'm sure NOBODY is reading...who could even get through this disclaimer???

Anyway, the point is that even though a week ago I proclaimed that I was going to do everything I needed to do...track calories, exercise, stop when I reached my caloric intake, etc., I have not done any of that this past week. I guess I tracked my calories once or twice. <sigh>

I came upon the realization the other day that it's been 6 months since I've been on FS and I've only lost 23 lbs. And I know, I know, on most days, I see that as an accomplishment but today, I look at it as a failure because I know I could have done much better had I worked a little harder. If I had been focused and "only" lost 23 lbs, I would probably feel better about it but I am feeling badly about it because I am disappointed with my efforts as of late. As has been said before in the forum posts, we are all in control of what we do and do not put in our mouths...so why do I choose to pollute myself and sabotage my weight loss efforts??

The ONLY thing that ever truly motivates me is when I remind myself that I'm doing this for my kids. If I can remember that on a daily basis, I can be more focused. When I lose sight of that and do it for vanity purposes, it just doesn't work. I'm contemplating getting a bunch of pictures of my kids and posting them all over the house...especially the kitchen...so I can think about my motivation before I shove a cookie in my mouth.

I'll get there. I can't say this is the longest I've been on a weight loss adventure but I can say that this is the longest that I've been off-track but have not given up completely. By now, I would have normally just gone back to my former self. This time, I'm still hanging on to the "you can do this" mentality. I am still fighting the "Who the hell are you kidding?" mentality that has plagued me so many times before. I have to say that this is 100% due to the FS community and my buddies.

Tomorrow is a new day and a start of a new week.

(9 comments)

20 June 2010

Since Sundays are my official weigh-in days I decided to record what the scale said today even though I recorded a weigh-in two days ago in order to stop the madness. :) Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there. :)

Weigh-in: 235.0 lb

lost so far: 23.0 lb

still to go: 75.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 5.6 lb a week

19 June 2010

Thought I was having another terrible eating day but as I promised myself, I just sat down to enter all of the food I ate today. And although I made some of the unhealthiest choices imaginable, I still fell within my caloric limit. Interesting. I guess that's the whole point of recording the food you eat--you just never know...(until you get really good at this and then, I guess you DO know).

(1 comment)

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