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Weight History
showing entries 31 to 35 of 207
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13 August 2012
Woohoo... Movement! And in the right direction too! Happy dance!
Weigh-in:
291.4 lb
lost so far:
10.8 lb
still to go:
41.4 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 18.2 lb a week
12 August 2012
Same...
Weigh-in:
294.0 lb
lost so far:
8.2 lb
still to go:
44.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
add comment
steady weight
11 August 2012
I think it may be a sickness to weigh every morning. I know it is a fault of mine that the number on the scale WILL determine how well I treat myself any given day. Whether or not I find myself worthy of respect, love, or affirmation. Sometimes whether or not I find myself worthy of food even. I am not looking for any sympathy here or psychoanalysis. LOL I pay my therapist plenty to scold me for an hour every week for the many ways in which I apparently punish and neglect myself. I realize it isn't even really an accurate measurement of progress to weigh every day since water weight fluctuates so widely. Still I can't seem to help myself. I HAVE to know. And my scale sits so smugly (I imagine so anyway) on the bathroom floor with the power to make me soar or destroy me in a matter of seconds. Sometimes I hate the fact that I am so dependent on those few minutes of my morning. The fact that I am unsettled if I don't know. That I will spend the entire day wondering if I don't weigh. That chances are I just won't eat at all instead of risking a gain tomorrow if I don't know my weight today. Today's gain of .2lbs isn't much and I know it probably isn't even a gain really. But still, I loathe myself today for it. I am terrified of stepping on the scale tomorrow and having gained again. I know I have to eat today, but I worry that maybe I ate too much yesterday. In my head I know, I KNOW, I did not eat enough yesterday but still, I worry. So I struggle, wanting to eat less today. Feeling like I should stay below 500 calories even though I know it's not enough. Please, don't lecture... I don't intend to be this way. It's just the internal struggle that I have. I am so desperate to lose this weight. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I am spinning out of control and this feels like the only part of my world I get to be in charge of. If I cannot speak how I feel here, then where? Surely I must not be the only dieter who has ever felt this way... I must not be the only one who has ever struggled with what they know they should do and what their twisted self image says they should.
Weigh-in:
294.0 lb
lost so far:
8.2 lb
still to go:
44.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
(1 comment)
gaining 1.4 lb a week
10 August 2012
Gotta love the initial water drop lol
Weigh-in:
293.8 lb
lost so far:
8.4 lb
still to go:
43.8 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
(1 comment)
losing 18.2 lb a week
08 August 2012
Starting over again... Oh man. Gotta keep going though. Never give up right...
Weigh-in:
299.0 lb
lost so far:
3.2 lb
still to go:
49.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
(1 comment)
losing 6.0 lb a week
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