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14 April 2014

Weigh-in: 145.6 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 35.6 lb Diet followed poorly
   add comment gaining 1.9 lb a week

11 April 2014

As I wrote in a previous journal entry, I have an excessive personality. All or nothing. And this isn’t just about food, when I get into a hobby I go all out for a few months, then lose complete interest and don’t pick it up for at least a year. Most aspects of my life I have this mentality.

When it comes to eating, I know that you can have anything you want as long as you moderate. I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables. I drink water, I exercise. I don’t eat too much meat, dairy, or carbs. And I think for these reasons I am not “heavy”. I have been maintaining this weight for about a year (give or take a 5 pound swing both ways but I always end up at 145) But my issue is the snacking. When I am in junk food mood, I eat like a man. Even regular portions are large.

I have come to the conclusion, that until I can build will power, I cannot even have a snack food around me. I lose all control. Then I hate myself. Then I tell myself never again. Then I find myself at the grocery store a week later doing the same thing.

My snack “binges” have got to end. And instead of trying to learn moderation, I think for now I just need to not have snacks. At all. Don’t buy them, don’t have them in the house. When people bring snacks into work (which happens a lot), I just can’t go there.

I was originally going to incorporate snacks into my diet. I am doing a 1200 calorie a day plan but thought that I could have a snack as long as it fit into the daily calorie requirement. That way I could help prevent binges and not have a cheat day. But I know now I cannot do that. I just need to flip to the other end of extreme and not have those foods around me.

Ugg… I hate my mind sometimes. I have never had a normal relationship with food. EVER.

11 April 2014

11 April 2014

Weigh-in: 144.8 lb lost so far: 0.2 lb still to go: 34.8 lb Diet followed poorly
   add comment steady weight

10 April 2014

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