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19 April 2014

Can you recite The Serenity Prayer? Come on...most of us were raised on it, you know it. It's all about acceptance of the things you cannot change and having the wisdom to know the difference. Well...tomorrow is Easter Sunday and many of us have talked all this past week (Passion Week) about our fears of succumbing to the evils of Cadbury eggs, the sticky sweetness of marshmallow Peeps and the brilliant glow of neon jellybeans. We're afraid. Scared of what we might do faced with mom's ham swimming in brown sugar. Terrified of being confronted with our mother-in-law's gooey macaroni and cheese (or some other diabolical concoction). Quivering at the very thought of standing face-to-face with auntie's sweet tea, sugary enough to glue your lips shut! If I eat it, how much damage will it do? If I don't eat it, what will they all say? Arrgghh! "Lord, help me to accept the things I cannot change."

But what if you turned the Serenity Prayer on its head in your life? What if you decided that you would pray for the power to change the things you cannot accept?

Hmmm...I can no longer accept that I have expected my bones to carry double the weight it should be asked to bear. I have the power to change that. I can no longer accept that I have bowed before the table of peer (or family) pressure on our food-centered holidays. I have the power to change that. I can no longer accept that I am fat and happy. Why not lithe and lovely? I have the power to change that. What if I am as passionate about the new me as I have been about old habits? I have the power to change.

Hey, I know the pressure you feel. I will hold my plate and survey the table about noon tomorrow too. But this time, I'm determined to let something new rise up in me. I will be as weird as many of the others surrounding the table are convinced I am anyway. I have decided that I will change the decisions I make for my dinner plate (and those tawdry little nibbles and snacks too)! One bite at a time.

Scientific studies have proven that many of the overweight have hormones that make cravings insatiable and that we possess glands that would rather die than release the fat stored within! But many of these same scientists do not negate the power of the mind. The strength of human will. The ability of the body to heal itself when given the proper tools. "Lord, grant me the power to change the things I cannot accept."

You can do it! I believe that you can and I have faith in us. Let my words ring in your ears tomorrow as you stand staring into your child's (or grandchild's) Easter basket and while brown gravy sits simmering on GranGran's stove. :D I challenge you to make tomorrow an absolutely fabulous day...because you can!

#StillFiguringItOut

(13 comments)

18 April 2014

I just realized I was pretty unkind to myself this week. I was very agitated at being sick (cold/flu), and consequently "off plan" for almost an entire six days. Instead of taking pity on my body...I've been angry that being sick could stall my weight loss project. I wish I hadn't felt that way...but I did. Feeling much better today (just a little bit of a cough left). But why was I so angry?

I'm trying not to stress about food and make it the enemy. All my life I have been a perfectionist that holds an impeccable (and sometimes impossible) standard for myself and the people around me. Even at work, I would frequently tell employees that it wasn't that I was demanding of them alone; but that there was absolutely no outside pressure that could compete with the inner pressure that challenged me every day. I meant that then and now.

I look at weight loss like I view most eveything...competitively. And you might be surprised to know that has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else besides myself. I don't want my healthy life quest to land me in a new addiction. Who wants to live life as a slave to calories, scales, running shoes and rice cakes? (The operative word being "slave"). Not I. I'm losing weight to enjoy my life and find something that has eluded me...balance. Feast or famine? Fat or skinny? All or nothing? Black or white? I think it's just time for me to understand that there is a grey area that is perfectly suited for me. Life doesn't have to be all or nothing and I certainly don't have to match the lowest end of the height/weight chart. I choose balance. I choose 'all things in moderation'. I choose to find pleasure and satisfaction with myself at my perfect weight (even if that's 140 lbs and not 110lbs)! Every day in self-discovery is an adventure.

And so begins the FS CHALLENGE "Trust Fall - The Weight Loss Version" (thanks Yolanda9179). I'm tossing the scale for six whole weeks to discover my body...not my number. I want to watch my body shrink as I keep hydrated. I want to see myself get stronger as I feed myself whole foods. I will watch my body morph as I love on it since it has been painfully obvious what happens when I'm at war with it. I want to see...well, me. #StillFiguringItOut

Weigh-in: 287.8 lb

lost so far: 15.2 lb

still to go: 137.8 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(13 comments) losing 3.7 lb a week

17 April 2014

OMG! I am tired and still congested and have grown so very weary of this cold|flu|whatever! I'm about to lose it! Just call me, Grumpy! Is it okay to workout congested? I just feel like this is all putting a kink is my diet & exercise plan. I'm eating well, just not enough but I am sincerely not hungry. Too few calories and too little exercise....Aargghh!! I went a researched some High Protein - Lower Fat options that I posted, but I don't even know what else I can research and google...I'm just frustrated with this kink. Done venting...as ease, Citizens.

(7 comments)

15 April 2014

Have felt awful the last few days...sinus/cold - flu, maybe?? Achy, tired and just barely plugging along. Kept trying to push through it, but spent yesterday in bed (very atypical for me). On the upside, no appetite. Have forced in some nutrients yesterday and today (no exercise either). Took a 4-lb loss in weight, but will probably come back as soon as I'm eating again. My family watched "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" (the movie) on HuluPlus with me last night. It convinced my hubby to do a 10-day juice detox with me after Easter! Nobody can help you get fit until you get committed in YOUR mind to work a change! So, I'm very happy to have him onboard for some of this by choice instead of just by default (me cooking differently). Ok, back to lay down now. See ya'll tomorrow.

(14 comments)

12 April 2014

I think I'm tackling more vegetarian meals until the end of April 2014 -- meat maybe once a week (Sundays) or not at all. Seems like I've seen bigger weight loss jumps in weeks with little to no meat. Before I married I was pretty much a vegetarian although I did not eschew meat at home or with friends, family. I was just single and was perfectly content with a meatless baked potato before working out. I'd lost maybe 50lbs using my homespun method of fruit, veggies, whole grains, dairy and daily exercise.

I've been 'dieting' -- for lack of a better term -- for just about 30 days this go 'round. I've also noticed that I don't really miss the meat flavor or actually chewing it. I'll make dinner for the family and eat a small piece of meat last or don't add it at all to the pot...tastes just about the same to me (from the other herbs and seasonings). And I have a very sensitive palate! I think I just feel like I'm missing out when I'm not eating meat with everybody else...I'm not. The more I read on Vegetarianism (and find great recipes), the less I see the value of eating meat.

Don't even ask how I feel about no eggs or cheese. (I love quiche! What can I say?) It's not that I'm a serious animal lover (although I am compassionate). I just want to do what's best for the health of self and family AND it is so difficult to do with such conflicting information, big farm and big grocery out there! Short of growing all my own produce and raising animals...I'm at a loss. #StillFiguringItOut. What's your two cents? Meet me in the FORUM.

Weigh-in: 291.0 lb

lost so far: 12.0 lb

still to go: 141.0 lb

Diet followed 100%

(4 comments) losing 0.9 lb a week

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