BLONDIEXOo's Journal, 03 September 2007

HI honey, you sound like you are having a hard time right now! We are all here for you, even though we are complete strangers. There are many of us out there who are recovering addicts, newly divorced, new split from partners, new mothers, new fathers - we all have a past, be it good or bad! Don't get discouraged by a 1lb gain... it's nothing compared to what you already have achieved in the past! they say bad comes in 3's... you've been told you can't exercise - that's one, you put on 1lb - thats 2 and you've split from your boyfriend - that's 3... lets get positive now and turn the next move into a good thing!!!!!!! 

Having your heart broken is one of the hardest things to go through. Having been in love and had this happen to me and also witnessed in my practice countless other relationships fall apart my only advice to you is: 1. Get help. Find somebody you can trust and talk to openly about your pain. Let that person be a good listener who doesn't try to take sides or solve the problem for you. Make sure they aren't going to take advantage of your vulnerable emotional state and try not to choose a family member, as they often take sides. This person should simply provide you with the safe space for you to air your feelings, give you emotional support, and possibly take you out for coffee/movie, etc. It could even be somebody from this online social network, however it's much better to have somebody in person. 2. If you are interested in bringing some closure to your conflicts with your ex-boyfriend and want to learn to live for "something" then I suggest seeing a counsellor. But first make sure you find a competent and experienced man/woman (your preference) who you know you can trust. Set up about at least 6-12 sessions with this person. Don't expect that your ex-boyfriend will change or be interested in going into counselling with you. This is your personal journey of learning and growing and can only be done by you. 3. Refrain from dulling the pain of this experience through any type of mind altering substance like drugs or alcohol. If you're friends are partiers then find new friends. You need mature and healthy grounded individuals in your life. 4. Journal all of your experiences and feelings in a daily journal. Note the events where you learned something about life and about yourself and those seemingly small activities that bring you happiness and satisfaction. 5. Avoid all contact (phone, email, text-message, in-person) with your ex-boyfriend until you've reviewed and possibly implemented some of the above suggestions. Note: To my understanding, unless and until both partners in the relationship engage in some healthy dialogue, develop conflict resolution skills, set good boundaries as well common life goals and values, then the relationship won't progress beyond the point that it was left off. ---- I'm sorry to hear this is happening in your life. The heart is one of the most sensitive organs we have and experiencing it break is very hard. I'll say a small prayer that you'll recover quickly (see 'Healing Words' by Larry Dossey ISBN: 0-06-251022-3).