desperate1964's Journal, 05 November 2013

Forgive yourself! Next time when you want to eat chocolate bars, rather go for a teaspoon of peanut butter...... (Look whos talking :))  

What's the'big' problem? Sorry to hear you had a slip up but its only a small bump in the road. Keep your eye on the big picture and do better today. :-) A couple chocolate bars won't put on the pounds, its the repetitive bad behaviors that will. I know you'll be back on track in no time. 

You know the first thing that came to mind when you said that you ate during the night was "you should turn your heat way down so it wont be worth getting out of bed for". Then, I realized you are in Lebanon lol. What is it, around 22C there? I guess that wont work! It seems like almost everyone of my buddies has had a slip up this week, including myself. Don't beat yourself up, move past it and learn from it. Were you super hungry when you went to bed? Maybe a low cal snack would help before bedtime or a protein that takes longer to break down. Just a thought;) 

The BIG problem is lousy marriage. She just hopped on a plane and went to PARIS. Now, I was checking our credit card account and she charged $1,200 at Lafayette. I sent her a whatsapp..and she said.. I bought Channel SHOES. She does not work. Does not do house work. Barely cooks for the family 3 or 4 times per week. She complains/screams,/yells all the time. My 2 daughters feel scared to ask her to drive them somewhere. She has no common sense and no financial sense. The word "we cannot afford this" or "Savings for a rainy day or retirement or girls college" mean nothing. Yet, she wants to send the girls to HARVARD because it is prestigious regardless of the girls abilities or our financial abilities. Enough, complaining. This morning, I almost deleted my FS account and dropped my challenges and everything that was here. But I had to rush to an 8am meeting at work. Came back from work and ran 1 hour on the treadmill. I got all this frustration out. It sure feels better than eating (during the workout and definitely afterwards). We have a gathering for some of my high school classmates (mini-reunion) on Dec 6. I decided that I want to look less fat by that time. So, I am going to try to stay focused. I am repeating the Challenge mantra "15 lbs by Thanksgiving" "15 lbs by Thanksgiving" "15 lbs by Thanksgiving".... 

OMG, I can just imagine my husbands face if I just hopped on a plane to Paris and THEN spent $1200 on a pair of shoes LOL. He'd probably tell me not to bother coming home! Don't give up on you, you and your girls are so important so don't let anything come between you and your goal of a healthier you! 

I'm very sorry to hear your struggles! Swimming is right though, this is one thing you are doing for yourself, so don't give up because of other things that are going wrong. Bingeing won't make those problems go away, so you might as well forge forward. Everything else we handle one day at a time. I don't have the problems you do, but I have a lot of family stress always dragging me down. Sometimes it's like I'm clinging to my diet and my workouts because it is the only I can control In a world that's so unpredictable. I do hope you're feeling better now, as much as could be expected. You have friends here :-) I will do my best to help  

Good morning...I woke up this morning and dashed to my computer hoping to read a couple of comments and a Woman's perspective on the situation. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I have to rush now and get my gardening done before going to work. we will chat later.