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Good morning everyone. I hope everyone is well. I've been a little aloof this past week; not as active of a participant as I usually am, my apologies. I have been well, probably feeding my emotions more than I should but this really has been such an intensely stressful week.
I believe I have overcome the depression that had me earlier this week, but I'm still very anxious about the trip to see my brother tomorrow. I wanted my husband to go with me, as he is my moral support, but we don't have anyone to watch our kids and I just don't know if they, myself, or my brother are ready for that. I might have to sacrifice him in order to not take the kids along, which leaves just my mom, my sister, and I. My brother would like us to bring along his little girlfriend too, but I don't think I'm down for that. As the days move closer it seems like the air grows thicker. Just want to get this whole thing over with.
Yesterday was supposed to be the only day I had to myself. *cue in universe laughing at me* I ended up going to my moms first thing in the morning to watch my sister while she went out to buy a very nice swing that was on sale. She has been looking for a swing for my sister, so how could I say no? Came home, went with the hubs to menards to get things for my flower beds. Went out to lunch. Made poor choices. Worked on flower beds, then ended the day with a fire back at my moms house. She kind of guilted me into going. Should have known better. In the midst of a conversation I tried to explain to her how it is really hard for me to see my dads side of the family because of the severe anxiety, and she went on to tell me how unfounded and ridiculous that was because they are the nicest best people in the world.... thanks for the support, asshole. Went home, Bed.
Today I am free except for a cookout at my grandmas. Those usually are very comfortable for me, except the last few times my brother made it hell. He isn't anywhere near here now though, so I guess that's a positive. I guess I should get going, I have to plant some flowers in the beds yet. I went for a very clean simple look this year, I'm please with it.
I hope all of you are having wonderful weekends. Much love!
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