Well last night I concreted the feeling of being digusted with myself. I had to try on clothes for the funeral today. It started a complete snowball effect to the tenth degree. All I was able to do was cry. Nothing like being hit with every negative emotion at once, not to mention the negative thoughts that rampaged through my brain. I was literally my own internal punching bag. So so bad! However today although still sad, and emotionally upset I now know what I need to concentrate on. Okay this will sound silly but in order for me I believe to feel better I need to re-start doing some exercises. If I can tighten my upper arms, and lose some poundage off my gut and thighs so I can fit comfortably into certain clothes again it might help. Also I need to re-evaluate what is really important in my life on a financial level, so that I do not need to declare bankruptcy. All this while looking for a job and trying to stay emotionally stable. I am going to try my hardest to do this! Honestly what else can I do???
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