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About seven and a half weeks to go. It's not yet June, and I am trying not to be too impatient for July to get here. It's funny to me how every time I record a weigh in FS says that I've "reached my goal weight". At the rate I'm going it looks like I'll have a total weight gain of about 40lbs instead of 30lb. I think I'd still be ok with that, though I will try not to get too out of control and stay as close to my "goal weight" as I can while still practicing healthy habits. I think what happens is that I delude myself a little that it's ok for me to abandon self control because I can "afford to" based on my looks. I recognize this is really stupid, dangerous reasoning. Friends that I see ask more often now when my due date is or how many weeks I have left and several times they tell me I don't look as far along as I am. Somehow my mind likes to take that I tell me, "see, you're doing alright, if you keep eating it's not really going to hurt you because you look smaller than you really are." (I have the mixed blessing of being able to carry/ hide weight somewhat well on my frame. My frame doesn't necessarily appreciate that because I still have to carry what others can't see, but it means I have to be more vigilant against basing my well being on outward appearances because I have to gain more weight for it to show/ gains are not immediately apparent. The converse may be true also- I don't remember, it's been a while since I was seriously losing weight.) I know yesterday (and probably Monday also) I really overate at dinner, though thankfully that's not the norm. I haven't been counting calories at all, but just trying to stop when I feel full- before I feel "stuffed". Yesterday I should have known better, but I tried to rationalize that I wasn't really full, the baby was just jabbing me really hard under the ribs. (Something s/he seems to enjoy doing with a dismaying degree of frequency. :-/ ) However, today is a new day and I can at least say that I am aware of these mental pitfalls that I may be susceptible to; that's one step closer to being able to avoid them. Now I need to go be productive with my chores before I leave for my latest check up. :)
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