Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 19 August 2023

I think I'm developing journal envy. Yesterday after journaling my 3 whys I took a break and went through everyone who was featured or following me. I ran across a few people who had succeeded in going from obese to hello six pack. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit but I cannot believe that I would ever get to that level. Maybe once I lose the weight I will set my sights on a higher goal. Right now I just want my pants to fit and I want to be able to not feel like I'm dying after taking the dog for a walk. We're both out of shape so it works. He has a rod in his leg from where he broke it as a puppy and I'm old so we both have an excuse. If either of us pushes it too far the other lays down on the sidewalk and refuses to move until we have had a 5 minute break. We will both get there though. Slow as a herd of turtles but we will get there.

Today's 3 Whys:
1. Because I want to see how much I would have to lose before the BF would say something. We've been together for 4 years now. He's been with me since I was 205 lbs. I double checked and yes I was that heavy on our first date. He didn't say a word when I put on 15 lbs. He is super supportive. He bought me a new elliptical when mine broke. He was letting me be his guest at the gym until I bought my own pass. He meets me at the gym at least 2 days a week so we can workout together instead of going out to lunch. He's amazing and I want to be better with him. Not for him.. with him. He's already made progress. I have not.

2. Because I want to wear the cute clothes. I keep getting Shein ads on all my stuff and the tops are adorable. None of them come in my size. I looked and the things that come in my size range I was less than thrilled with. Either they are too short and would show my front butt or they just weren't cute. I found a couple so I ordered from there for the first time. My daughter orders adorable clothes from there all the time. She's a small. She doesn't think anything that I think is adorable. I have none of the adorable tops in my life.

3. Because of front butts. I think its also known as the foopa? I could be completely wrong. Quite frankly I don't care what a foopa is. I'm not even sure if I'm spelling that right. It's been a front butt to me for as long as I've noticed them. It's on the front under the muffin top. It's the second butt that's on the front. I hate it. I know mine isn't as bad as it could be. I feel for other women who have it worse. I do not like mine. I hide it. It's a hidden secret that no one is allowed to see. Until I have to reach something on the top shelf. Then it comes out in all it's glory. A friend of mine would lecture me and tell me it's natural.. I had 3 kids.. blah blah blah. It may never go away completely but.. it can be less noticable. I want to shrink my front butt. If anyone knows how to do that please let me know.

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1142 kcal

Fat: 56.80g | Prot: 133.78g | Carb: 26.84g.   Breakfast: Coffee, Premier Nutrition Premier Protein Cinnamon Roll. Lunch: Aldi Aged Reserve White Cheddar, Tyson Foods Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts. Dinner: Kroger Raw Large Shrimp, Food Lion Sirloin Steak, TOPS Markets Corn on the Cob. Snacks/Other: Mauna Loa Dry Roasted Macadamias. more...