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Today I've decided to think on all the things that have contributed to my happiness lately. (then I'll get to all the exercise and numbers stuff that bores people, but helps keep me accountable).
Today I realized that I'm beginning to like the way I look. I'm not thrilled with the aging aspects, but it beats hell out of death. I have regrets that this wasn't more of a focus much earlier, when I could have prevented some of the remnants of being fat (elasticity), but that's not the plan for today....See? It's still so difficult for me to appreciate something I'm doing for myself, to feel good about something on my own person, without then discounting it with a "yeah, but..." Okay, enough of that. I like my strength in my arms and my legs. I like that I'm really sculpting my arms and shoulders, that I have "cuts" and definition and that even my husband is somewhat shocked when he sees my triceps when my arms are just hanging down at my sides :). I love seeing my clavicles. I love feeling my legs along the quadriceps and feeling what to me feels like "steel"! Of course, remove the covering and still some of that fat and not-smooth skin, but it IS tightening up! See? There I go again! I start appreciating something and then immediately discount it! Amazing the internal dialogue we constantly have running in the background! I'm going to try to be more aware of that. I love that the pounds are still coming off, that I haven't given up, that I'm beginning to really look forward to exercising each day. I love that most of the time - I reach for carrots and grape tomatoes, or a piece of fruit when I feel like eating something or needing a snack. It's becoming natural to me. I feel good about making those sort of choices almost without thought as our house is sort of snack central - I think I keep Costco in business with all the snacks the guys in the house eat. When I really want to snack on something, I'll choose a bit of chocolate, or a wedge of laughing cow on a wasa cracker, or the occasional protein bar. The other night I did eat the serving size of organic vanilla animal cookies - not the best choice in the world, but it satisfied the case of munchies I had going on.
I'm happy that our home is comfortable, and that my husband and I share the same dreams for the future. And that we share a lot of the same interests as far as ways we like to spend our free time. I love it that we both love camping out away from crowds, that we both love the mountains, and hiking, and canoeing, and traveling, and want to build a log home and have property and horses.
I'm happy that my kids and their friends choose to hang out here a lot. And happy that they like me enough to ask me to join them when they're all hanging out smoking some hookah, and that they have a pet name for me and tease me about my "bowl of wine" (even though I typically just pour a 5 oz glass - well, one glass at a time!). I'm happy my son, at least, has some really great friends. I'm happy that my daughter is expanding her friendship circle. I'm happy they're both doing incredibly well in college.
I'm happy that my older sister and I are finally getting close again after 8 years, and that my younger brother and I can get along so well, and that for some reason, all of my siblings seem to ask me for advice or input, that they seem to have respect for me and my opinions or take on issues. I'm happy that I get the opportunity to spend time with most of my siblings a couple times a year. Hopefully more often now, although my older sister lives in OR and not just a 6 hr. drive away. But I'm going to try to make it happen to see her at least every year.
I'm so happy that I have a handful of very good friends, two of which I've had for 36 years and 45 years. A third for almost 25 yrs. I'm grateful we get to visit one another a few times a year now, too. I'm happy that one of them has survived tracheal cancer this long and I hope and pray she'll be the exception to the rule when it comes to that kind of nasty cancer. She's been "cancer free" for 20 months now, thank God! I'm happy that I have three friends here in my neighborhood that are great women and women I know I can count on with most anything.
I'm happy we still have our two kitties, that they've managed to stay in our lives for 15 years now!
I'm happy that my husband seems to understand (and forgive!) my bitchiness and moodiness that comes through during this yucky, pre-menopausal time in my life! What a patient man! I'm glad he's SO supportive of my efforts here, that he doesn't try to sabotage me with treats or take out or anything, and that he'll eat pretty much anything I put in front of him! :)
I'm VERY happy that one of my neighbor friends offered to take me to her doc, where I was finally diagnosed with a (slight, but obviously enough of) problem with my thyroid and am being treated. Because if I hadn't been, I can't be absolutely positive I'd have been able to stick with this for as long as I have, and had things continued at the pace they were then before treatment, I'd still weigh about 150 lbs. Which is certainly better than the 175 I started out with (damn FS for not allowing me to change my starting weight when I lied about it for fear someone might see it!), but there's been a huge difference in my body (and outlook) between 150 lbs and 137 lbs! Those 13 pounds have made the difference between looking "fat" in clothes and not looking "fat" in clothes. So I love my neighbor and I love that doctor! :)
One more thing to be happy about this morning--- Fat Secret website for helping me keep on track, stay accountable and motivated, and most of all, for being able to meet all my great buddies! :) :) :)
Well, time for breakfast and I'll check out my buddies journals and things before starting my workout. I think it's Day 7 of Insanity and maybe the third or fourth day of slim in 6.
...later Day 7 of Insanity. Feeling good! Took a break, now it's time to do the Slim in 6 workout.
Diet Calendar Entries for 05 August 2010:
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1389 kcal
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Fat: 44.60g | Prot: 103.63g | Carb: 143.69g.
Breakfast: organic flax pumpkin granola, greek style yogurt, Sugar Free French Vanilla Coffee Creamer, celsius, English Walnuts, Almonds, Strawberries, Blueberries. Lunch: plum, wasa, Cheese Wedges, Classic Zone Perfect All-Natural Nutrition Bar Fudge Graham. Dinner: Light Creamy Caesar Reduced Fat Dressing, Basmati Rice, Grape Tomatoes, Cos or Romaine Lettuce, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Panko Bread Crumbs - Italian Style, Chicken Breast. Snacks/Other: plum, wasa, Peeled Baby-cut Carrots, Grape Tomatoes. more...
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2407 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Housework - 1 hour, Sitting - 7 hours, Standing - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Conditioning exercise (health club) - 50 minutes, Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 35 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 5 hours and 5 minutes. more...
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 Comments
The internal dialog is sometimes difficult to tolerate. Sometimes the only way to escape it is to change the focus to a different subject entirely. You seem to be doing an excellent job. I hear that though the "remnants" of weight gain may take a great deal of time to iron out, especially if one is over thirty, it is doable (not sure about the details though). I'm happy that you are happy! :-) Have a great day redwinelover.
05 Aug 10 by member: information
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LOL!!! "Iron out" - how I loved that bit of imagery! If only I could iron out the remnants..... :) And damnit, it's only not there with the fat on, not so with the fat off! Sometimes life just "ain't" fair! :) As for the internal dialogue - I'm going to attempt to change what I say to myself rather than avoid it and look elsewhere. I don't know how successful I'll be, but I'm going to give it a fair shot! :) Thanks for being happy that I'm happy!! :)
05 Aug 10 by member: redwinelover
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I believe the theory is that we begin to lose muscle mass if we don't use the muscles after about age 30. A long sedentary period (years) can do quite a bit of damage but it is reparable. Over time, constant exercise puts ones neurons back into touch with the muscles from which they have disconnected, creates new synapses, and begins to bring one's original muscles back. As we become older this process can take a "long" time, but I have been told by a doctor that it is definitely doable. As the muscles grow the "ironing out" process begins. I need to look a bit more into this area and don't quote me but, it's something like this. Under the circumstances, I intend to put myself back into the best possible physical shape attainable no matter how long it takes. A little more time with Google should give us approximate parameters. I want to know more about the subject. Of course, we can all try to do it together. :-)
05 Aug 10 by member: information
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Grabbing my iron to try and iron out many sedantary years! :/
05 Aug 10 by member: datadoll
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05 Aug 10 by member: information
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I wonder if a shot of steam might speed up the ironing process?! :)
05 Aug 10 by member: redwinelover
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redwinelover: Anything is worth a try. ;-)
05 Aug 10 by member: information
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It's so excellent to hear such gratitude!!!! I LOVE that. I, too, am HAPPY your happy!!!! Who doesn't love a happy person!!!! :)
Man I know what you mean about the discounting self talk!!! Especially when it's been so much of a habit over the years. I'd LIKE to think of myself as a Macys (store) but generally speak of myself as a Walmart!!!! Hell....somedays The Dollar Store!!!! :-/
I am hoping, like you.....it's going to be a learned process. You lose the weight....you gain more self respect!!!
AS for the age and toning?!?!? WTF....I recently noticed on the bike...as my legs go up and down at fast speed....I have WRINKLED skin...that takes about a second delay to follow my leg!!!! WHEN DID I GET MY MOTHERS GRANDMA LEGS?!?!?!?!? This really bothers me!!!!
My focus has been losing.....I THOUGHT that was a struggle.....NOW I find out I need toning too?!?!? Man I should have stopped this insanity YEARS ago!!! Lol
But ALL in the process.....
I TODAY am thankful to have "met" you Redwine....cuz trust me, it sounds like YOU got the toning going on.....and I WILL be inquiring about this!!!! :)
Thanks for your advice today.....spoke to woman at the gym....and funny thing WE did disucss this "toning" a little. Gonna try spicing up work out...and adding a few more calories!!!! Thanks!!!!
05 Aug 10 by member: Klannoye
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I see one point as being: how much do we know about this "ironing" and/or "toning? To what extent is it possible? Have these things been clearly defined and published in studies which are useful?
05 Aug 10 by member: information
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Hi Info...the "ironing" is just a joke, of course. :) The toning is well established, I'm sure. Toning is simply working out your muscles and as we lose the fluff (fat covering), our muscles become apparent. Women usually build muscles that are long and lean, not so much bulky like a man's muscles, and that's due to the significantly differing amounts of testosterone in men's bodies vs women's bodies. The wrinkling that we're speaking of here applies to that lovely bit of excess skin that decided it liked where it was and doesn't want to cling to the substantially smaller underlying muscle as it did with all the fluff to fill it out :). Simplistic explanation, I'm sure you can find more technical terms for the same process online :) I think this is yet another way that men have it all over women when it comes to aging! They rarely develop that nasty cellulite unless there is a hormonal balance AND the skin stays more elastic for men (to a point - but every rubber band has it's breaking point!). Let us all know what you find online, okay? I'd be interested to hear the technical explanation! :)
05 Aug 10 by member: redwinelover
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Klannoye - good hearing from you, too! I KNOW what you mean about the wrinkly knees! LOL - you call 'em Grandma knees, I call 'em elephant knees! I like your term better, a little less harsh in that self-dialogue! At least your skin goes back to where it's supposed to be! Wish I would have realized then "way back when"! My neighbor claims that it takes her body 5 min to stop running once she's caught her runaway dog! :) Hit me up anytime for anything I might be able to answer. I obviously don't have all the answers, but I generally know how to find them :). And as you pointed out, what works for one person may not work for the next. I do believe that exercise works the same for all bodies (well, apart from the physiological differences between men and women, of course!), but food might affect us differently. I wish I liked working out in a gym, but I seem to enjoy her here. OMG. I just said I ENJOYED it here! :) Really, I think it almost always boils down to this - if you want to lose fat, you HAVE to sweat. You may not have to sweat to build muscle or to "tone" what's there, but to burn the fat, you have to sweat. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
05 Aug 10 by member: redwinelover
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Klannoye - oops...thanks for being happy that I'm happy, too! :)
05 Aug 10 by member: redwinelover
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