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So I let myself go, or well, the way I like to phrase it is that I simply prioritized work to the detriment of almost every other area of my life for the past three years. Maybe every other area of my life actually. It’s hard to tell at this point.
I’m 38 years old, and while I’ve historically been described as active, healthy, fit, and energetic, I took a downward spiral after leaving the military in 2012 to attend law school.
I don’t regret my career shift, but I definitely am feeling the effects of a sedentary life. Sitting at a desk for 6-14 hours a day is literally killing me. Chubby at about 230lbs, I put on another 65 lbs over the last three years.
Last month, I attended a wedding and realized just how far I had fallen. I could not fit into anything I owned comfortably or at all. Even the bands of my underarmour boxers were folding over themselves and my stomach continued its slow growth forward and down. Having my nephews ask me why I had such a giant belly was humiliating and I began to imitate fat bastard from Austin Powers to make the kids laugh - but also to use the humour to cut through my own sorrow and the realization that I had gained far too much weight.
I have red hair, and for most of my life was described as the red head guy or the ginger more recently. Now I’m referred to as ‘big guy’. Ironically, a client’s ex partner referred to me as ‘his fatty lawyer’ when she herself is nowhere near a model of fitness. Her gut rolls down past her ‘flower’ and hangs about 1/3 the way down her highs. But I never would have said anything or cared to even bring this up except to point at the irony that she referred to me as a fatty.
In any event, at the wedding I resolved to change this dire situation.
What I know, and you may too, is that if we are overweight, we can change our eating habits, we can exercise, and become more active, and we can become fit again for the most part. But there is nothing that can help that mean and spiteful bitch that was calling me a fatty become a better person. Maybe she does it to hide her own pain, who knows - I’m not her counsellor or her lawyer.
There are no pills to make people kinder, smarter, or better people. There are no exercise regimes or foods that can, without a doubt, fix their character, intelligence, or personality. So at least there is hope for those of us that struggle with weight right?
I started working out and have resolved to get to the point where I get exercise twice per day. I’m not there yet, but almost.
Week one started on the 9th of May, 2018. I did very light cardio four times that week at the gym for about a half hour. I use the elliptical trainer because running hurts my knees because of the weight and the damage done to them in the infantry when I was younger, and I because most of the weight is in my gut and upper body I don’t like sitting on a bike seat for long periods of time right now.
Week two was a little more time at the gym but I kissed mid week because I was too busy with work. But I went Monday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I even did a light beginner weight routine on Monday and Friday, and had some good walks with my dog Oakley. She’s largely been the secondary victim of my sedentary life but she’s always been a good eater and has no weight problems. I weighed myself on the Friday that week and almost jumped off the scale in absolute fucking horror. How had it come to this... I bought I had gotten closer to 260lbs but no, no I was 295lbs. FML WTF how did this happen?
Well I know how it happened: I sat around literally for three years with almost no social life to speak of, isolated myself in my work and financial struggles and the remnants of a marriage I left in 2012. It’s my fault. I can’t even look at my body in the mirror and avoid looking st it when I walk to the toilette. I literally don’t look at the fucking mirror unless I brush my teeth. I can stand looking at my face, just not my body.
I lost about 10 lbs in two weeks when I weighed in last Friday. I weighed 285 lbs. This is where I am at the start of this blog.
D
Diet Calendar Entries for 29 May 2018:
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2164 kcal
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Fat: 98.55g | Prot: 86.65g | Carb: 241.35g.
Breakfast: Gala Apples, Poppy Seed Dressing, Mixed Salad Greens, Red Tomatoes , Garbanzo Beans, Cheddar Cheese , Toasted Mixed Grain Bread, Toasted Mixed Grain Bread, Scrambled Egg . Lunch: Cheddar Cheese , Dempster's Whole Wheat Tortillas, Basmati Rice (Cooked), Red Tomatoes , Garbanzo Beans, Mixed Salad Greens. Dinner: Compliments Balsamic Vinegar, Tostitos Mild Salsa, Dempster's Whole Wheat Tortillas, Avocado, Cucumber, Kirkland Signature Pure Olive Oil, Fresh Express Spring Mix, Scrambled Egg , Onions , Green Peas (Frozen) , Cooked Red Peppers, Mushrooms . Snacks/Other: Golden Delicious Apples, Bananas . more...
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3783 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Elliptical - 40 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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