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Weight History
showing entries 16 to 20 of 60
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06 September 2021
Having lost 21 pounds as of today, I look back at how grief and depression paralyzed me with understanding and grace for myself that I would not have had in my hardest days. In fact, some days now without my mother are even harder than they were when I first lost her. She was my companion in life. Having found my father late in life, she was my only parent. I was her only child. Her openness with me as we grew up together (she got pregnant at 19) allowed a trust, honesty, curiosity, and love to guide us in life's daily journey.
When I lost her so suddenly and unexpectedly, I lost a golden force of light and understanding I never took for granted but also never could comprehend the cavernous vacuum left in its absence. In almost every way, she is still with me, but in the physical, hold my hand and hug me, smile at the joy for me or of mine in her, or hers in my son, that is achingly missed. Everyone who knew our bond says I'm doing great. I am because she taught me how to. I am because my son is my light. I am because my husband is my rock. I am because there's no other choice. I am because I can help others,
Yet every day, I am lonely without her. As I've written previously, my weight loss is to live my longest, best life with the ones I love. This is especially true because I don't want my son to not have the best of me for as long as I can give it to him. I also want the best of myself in my life and my husband's. So today, my Mom is -- as always -- my inspiration. Knowing she had a lifelong battle with food, my wellness is a victory on her behalf as well. From earliest childhood, food was an issue. In her youth, her family often starved from hunger. My grandmother would skip meals to feed my mom and her brother a single slice of bread with ketchup between them and a pint of milk. Her husband was a bit of a gangster in Kansas City and would leave them for months with nothing. Then, after they moved to Chicago and Granny had remarried, Mom was assaulted one night when she was no older than five by a neighborhood boy in the alley. She'd spend the rest of her life using weight to hide how beautiful she was hoping to go unnoticed rather than deal with the uncomfortable attention. She was always beautiful. She couldn't shun attention. I'm posting this picture of her in Frankfurt, Germany. Most beauitful woman, I miss you every second. I'm well for us all.
Weigh-in:
134.4 lb
lost so far:
21.6 lb
still to go:
3.4 lb
Diet followed 100%
(14 comments)
losing 2.8 lb a week
05 September 2021
Weigh-in:
134.8 lb
lost so far:
21.2 lb
still to go:
3.8 lb
Diet followed 100%
add comment
losing 5.6 lb a week
04 September 2021
Today's a thrilling day because my weight and body fat percentage put me in some metrics' bucket of what is a fit woman over 50. This is my goal. Others say I'm oh so close. Either way, it's glorious.
As many know, when one person in the family commits to fitness and mental wellness that is required to this kind of physical and emotional discipline, it challenges those around her. In most ways, it is positive, but we also experience the hostility we create in others when they recognize they aren't managing their own life as effectively. It makes them uncomfortable which often causes them to cast aspersions at the one making them uncomfortable.
So many people find this too hard to endure while they are keeping to their own regimen. The ones we love most being critical of our amazing achievements. It takes the strength of knowing what one is doing is right to even hope for overcoming the subtle subversive attempts to sabotage (often not consciously inflicted) by others to bring one back down. Those are hard enough, but the point blank suggestion of one overdoing it precisely when she's getting close to the goal of wellness feels like those one loves most are shattering the foundation upon which her change was predicated.
The good news is it is not the case. We are only in control of ourselves. Health and self care are basic acts of love toward oneself. No one has the right to rob us fo that. A clear vision of medical wellness and mental well being should be our beacon. Clinging to this vision like a lighthouse in whatever storm threatens our fitness, I believe we can endure. Others' discomfort with our wellness is their journey -- not ours. We can encourage them, love them, hear them out, but the difficult work of owning one's wellness is our job. As family or friends or both, it's hard work, but compared to what others endure, it's worth it. It's also not the degree of suffering so many others endure.
Celebrate the wellness and goodness one's given and one earns. It will help in overcoming the hard moments.
Weigh-in:
135.6 lb
lost so far:
20.4 lb
still to go:
4.6 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
(9 comments)
losing 1.4 lb a week
02 September 2021
With a loved one visiting, I had to deviate from my flawlessly field fuel regimen to allow for a trip to our local, decadent ice creanery. I did do some extra activity to hopefully offset any creep of fat back onto my body. I feel so much better as I adjust to the new energy I have in life.
I am headed to the gym now to do my cardio and core strengthening.
As we near Fall, I am tempted to have a few extra peaches here and there just to savor the season. Perhaps find some new recipes to maximize the bounty of August's crops.
Weigh-in:
136.0 lb
lost so far:
20.0 lb
still to go:
5.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
add comment
steady weight
01 September 2021
Weigh-in:
136.0 lb
lost so far:
20.0 lb
still to go:
5.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
add comment
losing 0.7 lb a week
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