jennytheveg's Journal

jennytheveg's Profile |Send a Message | Weight History

showing entries 6 to 10 of 28

Page: Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next

17 February 2015

Weigh-in: 306.0 lb

lost so far: 5.0 lb

still to go: 131.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 4.5 lb a week

03 February 2015

Weigh-in: 315.0 lb

lost so far: 0 lb

still to go: 140.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment gaining 0.2 lb a week

22 January 2015

Does anyone had a recommendation for a good bathroom scale?

I've quietly been keeping tabs on all of my food again and am a week and a half in. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit, and I'm over halfway there - relying on my mild OCD to keep this ball rolling! Either way, it's probably time that I invest in scales, so I can see if this is doing any good.

After 21 days I'm going to add some regular exercise. I don't know if you can build on habits like Legos, but that's what I'm going to try!

My biggest test will be over the Valentine's day weekend, when the band will play 3 sold-out shows here in town. It's hardest backstage among the revelers, where everyone is usually drinking and eating from the catering. This time I'll have to employ some serious self-control to keep from overdoing it every night - one night maybe. :)

(4 comments)

04 November 2014

Jump on the wagon, fall off the wagon. It's a constant struggle for me to stay on that damn wagon, I tell ya! With sickness, Halloween, exhaustion and sheer lack of time, I stopped recording my food and fell right back into bad habits - after 2 days! Horrible. Well, nothing to be done but to get back on the horse. I'm starting again today.

I've discovered that my worst enemy is boredom and stress. Not hunger, not cravings. All day at work I'm reaching for a snack to break one of those two things. I'm a multi-tasker by nature so only having one thing to do is rough for me - I am happiest snacking and working at the same time. I'm trying all sorts of things to get through that desire, from having readily accessible low-calorie snacks like cucumber and celery to just practicing sheer willpower.

They say willpower is a muscle, so I hope that if I keep using it, it'll get stronger.

I'm trying to remind myself that I need to feed my body healthy food and vitamins, not just calories. I need to get in a certain amount of vegetables and fruit a day - not an easy job, but I've decided that I'm just going to go ahead and buy prepared veggies instead of trying to cook everything myself. With my schedule, that leads to disaster, so I might as well spend the extra money and eat well despite myself.

I also got a stand-up desk ordered today, and I have high (ha!) hopes for that to get me in somewhat better shape. Sitting all day for 20 years has been horrible for me.

My goal is to lose 15 lbs by Christmas. It's not that much. 50 days at 1/3 lb a day. Let's see if I can stay on track this time!

add comment

09 October 2014

Well, I just haven't done jack since I started this thing, and my weight has gone up over the years. I'm miserable and ugly and now getting old. It's time to try again.

I've always been a little bigger than everyone thought I should be; even in high school, when I had what I'd now consider to be a perfect body, I was always a few pounds more than society appreciated. I started dieting when I was 14 or so, but have never had any sustained success. It bothered me but not much - I'm tall, with a large frame, but an hourglass shape and decent face kept me from worrying about my weight. I never lacked for suitors, and have many encouraging and loving relationships with friends and family. Weight never seemed like an issue important enough to focus on for long.

Now I find myself at 45, severely overweight after a lifetime of laziness. A bad car accident started me on the path to gaining in my 20's, and the scale has climbed due to my own lack of caring and determination. I've started hundreds of diets and tried to change my lifestyle, but I'd always get distracted - and the facts remain that I love cooking, I love food, and I seriously hate exercise. Combine that with a husband who actually loves big women, and the motivation to lose the weight is next to nil.

The things that have changed recently are what have me on this new hunt for health.

- A beloved grandmother died of diabetic-related disease and strokes. It was a miserable death, and taking care of her cost her loved ones dearly.

- I've had to move up yet another size in jeans, and jeans for someone my height are already hard to find.

- Every photo of myself has a miserable double chin and with my terrible posture, I look like a mountain.

- I weigh more than my parents combined, more than any of my friends, and more than most linebackers.

- The most disgusting part of my body, my inner thighs, has now caused me to realize that I will never again wear a swimsuit, and the ONLY exercise I enjoy is swimming!

My fear is that I will lose concentration and hope again, and stop caring, and just keep gaining. So many mindsets could mess me up:

- the permanent damage that's already been done to my body, the stretched out skin, will never be fixed no matter how much I lose.

- I have to give up cooking delicious foods, one of my favorite pastimes.

- My husband means well, and wants me to be healthy, but has terrible favorite pastimes of his own that won't be changing anytime soon. If I want to hang out with him, I'm basically forced to do what he does.

- I'm never going to be young and pretty again no matter what I do.

- What is the point? I don't have kids. I am married. I could just save myself the angst and live how I want, stay in the house and be happy until I die, even if it is early.

So that's what I'm fighting, and maybe I'll win, or maybe I'll do like I've always done and just float along until this life is over. Right now, I want to be healthy. I want to stop being sick all the time, to stop closing my eyes whenever I get near a mirror, to stop the intense self-hatred whenever I see a picture of myself, to stop dreading social events. I don't want to be ashamed anymore. That's just not always enough when in general, I'm happy. All I can do is hope, and try.

Weigh-in: 311.0 lb

lost so far: 0 lb

still to go: 136.0 lb

Diet followed N/A

(7 comments) gaining 0.3 lb a week

jennytheveg's weight history

view complete history