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13 February 2011

Oh my. Looking at what I ate yesterday I'm not very happy. Waaay too much fat. Not enough protein. Well, that goes to show that eating healthy is not without its risks if'n ya don't pay attention to HOW much yer eatin'! Ranch dressing and cheese aside, I did pretty well. I now know to cut back on the cheese and leave the dressings alone. I prefer oil and vinegar anyway.

Another slow day. Some work out in the morning then lots of little things to get done around the house. Off to visit spend time with some family. All in all a good day.

I feel so lackadaisical right now. Don't wanna go to church, but I suppose I must... :-) I'll feel so much better afterward.

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Not only did I make it to church, but also made it to the Kern River Valley and had an awesome day with Billiam. We went to a sweet little museum in Kernville then trekked around the river on a couple of vigorous trails.

Blew it all to hell in a hand basket at Subway, but since it was the only thing I ate all day, I'm not too worried about it. I took the roast beef w/ plenty of veggies, (I tried to get one of the lowest calorie sandwiches there). Had a cookie and shared a mocha latte w/ him for dessert.

On the downside, stepkids' grandpa died today. I feel so bad for them. I feel really bad for their mom as she is sweet as sweet can be. I love her to death and hope and pray that she has strength to get through this. I'll be babysitting all week for her which is fine, but it may cut into my fitness routine. I can make adjustments. I have to.
She does so much for others that it's only fair and right that we do what we can for her. Rest in peace, Gene.

12 February 2011

11 February 2011

10 February 2011

I felt much better today. See? Don't take me out of my normal environment and I do well... Am I becoming an old fart????

Scale went back down to what it said before I left. All that panicking and hysteria for WHAT? Well, it certainly taught me that good behavioral practices are in order for a balanced mind, that's for sure.

My shoulder has been giving me heck today. I'm thinking I'm gonna need more cortisone shots in the cervical spine as what I'm feeling is the same that I felt last time I needed them! Wonderful. Bulging cervical discs. Gotta love it.

Billiam, my wonder hubby, kept asking me if I wanted banned foods today. I'm trying to think of clever spots to hide his body...

Well, no epiphanies or anything today. Just a dead boring day. Workout. Visit some friends. Get around town. Come home and eat. What an existence! Better than the drama that surrounded me with three teenage daughters and a case of sibling rivalry that has yet to be recorded in the annals of history... oooh, Bones is on...

09 February 2011

Wow. Went to the gym and weighed myself there. I was so disappointed with the scale and extremely angry with myself. It seems I've gained four pounds over the weekend. FAILURE!!!!!! It's all my fault. No one else's. I'm the one who controls my hand to mouth action. I'm the one who controls what goes into my mouth. I'm the one who controls what I do or do not do.

So why this incredible desire to make everyone around me happy by caving into familial pressure to eat, eat, eat and eat all the wrong crap? Why is it that I like to sabotage all my efforts to make myself a healthier, comelier me? WHY? Or is the correct question "What the HELL is my problem?" Am I so submissive that I can't stand up for and to myself?????

Why is it necessary to encourage me to eat when I don't want to? Why is it necessary to pressure me to eat WHAT I don't want to? More importantly- why, oh WHY must I deviate from my chosen path and converge onto the unhealthy paths of others just to justify THEIR unhealthy lifestyle? Why?????? I am so angry that I could eat an entire carrot cake with double cream cheese frosting. But I'm not going to.

I'm staying home next time we're supposed to go to LA and I'm going to keep myself from the situations that trigger my weak will to override my strong will. I need to rethink my strategies. (I can't believe the scale I used this weekend was WRONG by so much! ~grrr~)

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