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Hi everyone,
I struggled the last 2 weeks but I think I finally am able to say that I am on track again. I had to do a lot of reading, journaling, and thinking about binge eating and my desire to stop. The last two days have been good.
The bottom line is I have declared "I never binge eat." It sounds very simple to make this statement and as many of us know, it's not! When I was originally doing what the book calls my Big Plan I had a list of food that I wasn't going to eat. I found that too be too difficult to maintain. No cookies, crackers, pizza, ice cream, etc. etc. The root of the problem is actually binge eating. Secondary is the types of food. The rub is that these food choices frequently set me off on a binge and also they are not on a KETO eating plan.
I am in charge of my actions and the dumb animal part of my brain (AKA The BEAST) is what wants to do the binge eating. I am smarter than the beast that simply learned to binge eat for a variety of reasons. That beast is responsible for survival and I have trained myself to think I need to binge eat to survive. Sometimes it does feel that way!
I was able to control my binge eating for several months and the beast is patient, it waits quietly for its chance to take over. When my Mom passed away, I allowed it to be in charge again. I didn't want to deal with the pain of the situation at the time. You may say, well you were having a hard time, that's what you needed. But if I was an alcoholic that answer would not work! Imagine if I started to drink to deal with the situation? I hope it is not insulting to compare alcoholism to binge eating but I look at them as addiction issues. I am just saying that when you are addicted to something and you are abstinent, you have to remain abstinent through these situations.
I hope next time I can recognize "beast activity" and remain abstinent through it. Right now just being aggravated makes me want to run to food. I am using the techniques I learned to let these pass and recognize that I am in control and I can choose not to respond to the desire to eat my feelings.
Have a good day everyone!
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295.2 lb
Lost so far: 56.8 lb.
Still to go: 0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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gaining 3.1 lb a week
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