|
I currently weigh 251. I've been so upset with myself for getting this big again...the lowest I got was 208 but haven't been that low in awhile...was holding at 220 for a long time.
I gain weight so spread out that initially I was in denial about what the scale was saying because I didn't look much different but then BAM...I realize I am actually 30lbs fatter than my usual chubby weight I usually maintain (220lbs) that I've been trying to get lower than AND I suddenly do look A LOT heavier :(.
I keep looking up calculations as to how long it'll take just to get back down to my usual chub and it says 4 months, exercising 3 days a week, and 1400 calories a day to get back there.
I am such a perfectionist I usually jump up and start doing 6am spin class 5 days a week and weights and drop weight fast and then fall off the wagon again and gain it back....this time around I don't want to do that! I want to have peace in my heart and some how figure out how to do this in a healthy sustainable way! I'm convinced that's the only way I can get down smaller than ever and stay there.
I'm just this type of person and yes I'm venting - I hate how overwhelming it is when you have so much to lose...looking at the time it'll take and getting upset...and wanting immediate results :'(.
Also same ol' same ol'- struggling with having to give up drinking because I have no willpower with it and always eat when I drink too but it's a huge part of my social life...just so frustrating.
I keep hoping that some day I will get to goal and can finally just live my life in moderation and keep it in check and never get fat again...I feel like I'd be way more respectful and on top of it if I reached goal...it's harder to care about gaining weight when you're still fat anyway, if that makes sense?
I can't explain how I feel this time around...it's so hard to put in to words...I just can't be perfect anymore...I'm having trouble with the idea of giving up my dating and social life once again to get back down only to gain it back again :(.
I've also starting thinking about my age and how much of my life I've spent fat and feeling like I'm waiting for my life to get good when I lose weight...but I'll be 33 soon and I'm realizing I have to do it NOW! I don't want to waste any more of my life being ashamed of myself and missing out on everything :'(
|
251.0 lb
Lost so far: 22.0 lb.
Still to go: 101.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
|
Diet Calendar Entry for 15 July 2016:
|
1923 kcal
|
Fat: 141.47g | Prot: 110.37g | Carb: 58.81g.
Breakfast: Zucchini, Cream (Half & Half), America's Choice Bacon Thick Sliced, Great Value Pork Sausage Links, Scrambled Egg (Powdered Mixture), Cream (Half & Half). Lunch: Cucumber (with Peel), Dole Romaine Lettuce, Goya Garbanzo Beans, Egg, Caesar Salad Dressing, Kraft Blue Cheese Crumbles, Wal-Mart Tilapia Fillets. Dinner: Kraft 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese, Cooked Spaghetti Squash, Trader Giotto's Rustico Pomodoro Pasta Sauce, Ground Beef (Cooked). Snacks/Other: Egg, Vegetable Oil, Flaxseed Seeds, Peloponnese Kalamata Olives, Avocado Vegetable Oil, Zucchini. more...
|
losing 3.5 lb a week
|
 Comments
Thank you for allowing yourself to vent. I know it was heartfelt. I wonder if it might be more doable if you set a series of mini-goals. Just looking at a big number in the "still to go" column can be discouraging! But if you have interim goals, it's less intimidating, and when you show yourself you can reach the first one, it will give you encouragement to reach the second one. Be of a mindset that this is something you WANT to do, and not *need* to do. Wants are easier to move towards. As my signature here says, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
15 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
|
It has to be a sustainable lifestyle change over the long term to be successful - take small steps and small increments of weight like 5 pounds as a first goal.
|
Thanks a lot guys - I know you're right. I have to take it one day at a time and not be so hard on myself because me being hard on myself and staring down the big long term picture is just making it so much harder than it needs to be...ok...mini goal is to be under 250!
15 Jul 16 by member: Sharons Victory
|
you came to the right place for the support...
15 Jul 16 by member: wannabhealthier
|
I know all about wanting instant results. I know in my head that I didn't get this way overnight, but somehow I want to reach goal immediately. And, I did what you do--when I don't lose right away I binge and then gain even more. The mini goals are a great way to go along with finding what works for you. The people here will always give advice and support along the way. Good luck.
15 Jul 16 by member: PhillySue
|
I recommend a group called 'One Year No Beer" for the alcohol aspect. I had to give up drinking for health/medication reasons and found their website very helpful. The idea is to challenge yourself to stop drinking for 30, 90, or 365 days. Many members do this to achieve an athletic goal, like a marathon. I am not an athlete, but find the support amazing. I have lost 35 pounds in the last year, and 65 total. Getting rid of the alcohol has of course saved calories (and $$). It has also increased my discipline with food and exercise. My husband and friends have been very supportive, and it is completely possible to keep an active social life, go to bars, restaurants, clubs, etc. without drinking (I wouldn't have believed that either at first!) Check out their website at OYNB.com. I hope it helps you as much as it did me.
15 Jul 16 by member: charlene1202
|
thank you SO SO much Charlene I'll definitely check it out!!! <3 <3
15 Jul 16 by member: Sharons Victory
|
You are so welcome. Best of luck!
15 Jul 16 by member: charlene1202
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
Sharons Victory's weight history
|