redwinelover's Journal, 14 October 2011

Come Thursday it'll be a year since my surgery. An awesome year in many ways, too. One of the best things is that I've managed to maintain my weight within a fairly close (for me) range since. That's something that's never happened before. So, what I have learned? Well, probably a lot more than I'm aware of. Have I "arrived"? Uh...no. It's still a process and I believe it'll never be "done". I still hang on to the hope that one day I will just eat "normally" and maintain my weight. But let's see... I've learned that in my case, at least, there's no way to lose weight and continue to lose weight, and certainly not be able to maintain weight loss, unless I work out, as well. I've heard it said before, but I think it's true for a lot of us, especially once we're of a certain age.

I've also learned that the snack monster is alive and well. In order for me to control that urge to snack, I have to have planned snacks and "allow" myself things that aren't necessarily good for me. But life is precious and life is short and as a bumper sticker I have says - Life is too short to drink bad wine! hahahaha... I think that also applies to the occasional treat or planned snacks.

I've learned that I am a lot stronger than I ever thought. Physically - sometimes I almost amaze myself! lol... okay, sorta kidding, but still. I NEVER thought I'd have the strength and stamina needed to work out for an hour most days of the week. Or to be able to take 10 - 12 mile rugged desert hikes and LOVE them. I believe discovering these things about me has also made me a stronger person mentally and emotionally. Of course, feeling much better about myself probably does that at least as much as the exercise, itself, does.

I'm LEARNING (notice the present tense) that some body parts are not going to look 20 years old no matter what I do. Some things would require more surgery and although I'd do it in a heartbeat, being this satisfied with my original surgery and outcome, and all the subsequent things that came along with that - it's not in the budget and may not be. So I'm in the process of trying to accept those things that I cannot change. Still have a very difficult time with this one. I honestly believe I couldn't really work out much harder than I do. Well, I guess I could, but I am not aiming for a 14% body fat - not at my age. I've learned that women over a certain age actually DO need a certain amount of fat to soften the lines. :D

I've learned that the support of family and of friends is CRUCIAL. Can it be done without those things? Eh... maybe. If one were stubborn enough and had enough whatever it takes to "prove" they can do it in spite of the odds. But I'm SO grateful I have this support - both at home and from my friends here on FS.

In case anyone has read to the end - I just had to put this one in here.... I've learned that men like boobs. Regardless of their age or your own! lol... People treat you differently when you have breasts and it's really NOT just the way I project myself out there. Because there have been many days I've been "out in the world", feeling pretty crappy about myself and how I feel I look on a particular day - and yet I notice people treating me differently. Men are generally nicer and more courteous, and even some women treat me in a more positive way. Of course, there are sometimes those "haters", but not so many. I just think it's weird, or funny, maybe - that people treat one another differently based solely on how they appear. Probably a sad comment on society, if you think about it, but right now? Uh, have to say I like it. As shallow as that sounds! In case anyone doesn't really know me? I do NOT have a big ego, I generally have self-esteem issues, and I always seem to find something about myself I don't like. But that said, this is the best I've felt about myself in years.

And so the journey continues...

127.0 lb Lost so far: 48.0 lb.    Still to go: 2.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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490 kcal

Fat: 17.41g | Prot: 10.35g | Carb: 75.21g.   Breakfast: 100% Whole Grain Oatmeal, 1% milk, ground flaxseed, craisins, walnuts, Sugar Free French Vanilla Coffee Creamer. Snacks/Other: apple. more...