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Only recording so I can see the pretty color line again. I'd like to think it's a downward trend, but after fasting and then having the enchiladas I've been craving for months now - don't know. Were they good? Yeah, but not "delicious". I should know better by now - make them a day ahead of time. So now the call of enchiladas is in my fridge. Well, I'd promised myself I'd make them after a two day fast (which was actually closer to a 66 hour fast) and that I could eat whatever I wanted of them. Guess I should have put a one day limit on that!
I know we all have things like trigger foods and comfort foods. Cheese enchiladas are definitely one of my comfort foods. Aside from just loving the cheesiness, the spiciness, the little bite of sour cream (though I now only use plain, Greek style yogurt for that) - it brings back many childhood memories.
I used to make them for the family from about the age of 10 or 12, I think. My dad loved them almost as much as I did. Funny thing about that is, I grew up fearing him, and eventually believed I hated him by the time I was a teenager. All of us (step)children had a very rocky relationship with him. Although it never got "perfect" before he died, we definitely got closer. And I began to understand a lot more about who he was and WHY he was the way he was.
Later, as a parent, I began to really have a lot of respect for him in many ways. He took on a widow with three young children - all under the age of 7. Good Lord. Well, point is, over lots of time I think we ended up not only loving one another, but having a weird sort of mutual respect for one another. In many ways he was a tortured soul and I wish I'd have recognized that much sooner. Funny how understanding puts things into perspective :/
Trigger foods - things I just can't have in the house at all: Organic vanilla animal crackers from Costco. Damn. I can eat half the big jar of those and don't even know why! Iced animal cookies - sure it has to do with childhood. They were a rare treat. No control with those around at all. Ding dongs - definitely a childhood snack - best thing in my lunch sack, for sure. I probably don't even like the actual taste anymore, but that's probably beside the point. Latest fatal trigger food - okay, maybe two of them - Veggie Crack Snack (veggie straws) and Kellogg's antioxidant fiber bars. I avoid the veggie straws whenever possible, but allow myself the fiber bars under the guise that they're "good" for me! Ah... the human brain.
Anyway, I may try weighing in more often. Can almost guarantee tomorrow's weight will not be a happy one for me. Will definitely eat more enchiladas today! Then hopefully call that craving good for another 4 months!
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127.2 lb
Lost so far: 47.8 lb.
Still to go: 2.2 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 5.6 lb a week
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