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Most recent photo of me. I am at the heaviest I've ever been. +75lbs in the past 3 years. Yikes. Today I found the strength to begin this bleeping journey again. The most weight I have ever lost in one sitting is something like 40-45 lbs. Gonna have to pull that off again. Gonne have to go slower, too.
At a rate of -1-2 lbs a week, GPTchat calculated it would take between 6 months and a year for me to lose just enough weight to be back to my normal adult weight. (I am 30 years old)
In these past 3 years, I have matured enough to allow my body the nutrients I needed for my brain to soak up a diploma in Computing Support. (which automatically gives me my highschool diploma too) I went from 0 to hero in my own life, in the sense that I went from being good for customer service and factory work, to being hired as a computer operator in a college. I also lost my grandmother. I learned I have a gene malformation (BRAKA-2) which gives me 80% chances of having breast cancer in my lifetime. (and higher chances of ovarian and skin cancer). I went from bald to a big head of broken blue hair that I have taken awful care of. (I look like a clown version of hermiony went through a dryer and came out with missing chunks of hair) I am not cute like I used to be. I was an adorable woman most of my life. Now, because of the weight I figure, in 3 years I have aged so rapidly. I want my youth back while I can still have at it. Soon, it will never be an option again.
Any encouragement helps. I have no friends. I pretend I'm normal for a living. Human interraction is prescious.
For the cancer thing, I don't want to be overweight as I am and have my breats removed and reconstructed... (which would help allot, and is offered to me for free because of the BRAKA-2) my mother had it done a couple months ago. I looked it up on google and it just doesn't look the same. On top of that, it feels like nothing. You can't feel it. I get clostrophobic in my body if I can'T feel a numb part of me. (ex: dentist numbing my face, foot asleep... etc) It's scary stuff. I don't want my self esteme to go down when I do the operation. I want to feel good in my skin. I won't feel good in my skin if I am overweight. I think I'd feel like a monster. Like a paper mache gone wrong. Like scrap. I need to prepare myself to accept the operation to come. I want people to give me GENUINE compliments on how it looks. I don't want people to have to fake it and tell me it looks really good when it doesn't. I want it to be as least embarrassing as possible.
So I'm gonna get on this metaphorical horse and ride it into the sunset till I'm ready. Lol
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182.2 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 37.2 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 06 January 2023:
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1496 kcal
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Fat: 54.90g | Prot: 85.57g | Carb: 134.67g.
Breakfast: Black Diamond Mozzarella Cheese String, 2% Fat Milk. Lunch: Great Value Nutri-Bowl Southwest Chicken. Dinner: Swedish Meatballs in Sauce with Noodles (Frozen Meal). Snacks/Other: Schweppes Ginger Ale (355ml), Black Diamond Mozzarella Cheese String, Heineken Beer. more...
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gaining 0.4 lb a week
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 Comments
Well you threw it out there, you have a good game plan, perhaps this will be a start of some new health oriented habits. Start creating some routines that work for you and make them daily habits. Meal prep is also very helpful, I usually advise this as part of a lifestyle change. You can do this.
07 Jan 23 by member: DarkKnight73
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11 Jan 23 by member: TiffyGX
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Some “hard stuff” but you sound motivated. Keep being strong! You got this.
11 Jan 23 by member: Lindafitter
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Look at what you have accomplished and what you plan on accomplishing - you sound pretty amazing to me. If you want support, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve personally found this group to be so supportive and encouraging, and if you let them, they will hold you up during the difficult times. Just focus and put one foot firmly in front of the other. You’ve got this. 💜
12 Jan 23 by member: JamaicaBoundNL
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You've 'bared your life' on your sleeve. Sharing is the first step. I found that making a food 'lifestyle change' was best decision I've ever made in my weight loss journey (it only took me 67 years). No fade diets with promises of quick losses. Slow but sure and sustainable. Especially sustainable.
I have faith in you. You (we) can do this!
12 Jan 23 by member: kittikatpat
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there's a whack load going on in your post! kind of like your life at the moment and I'm authentically sorry that you've got so many things that are burdensome. I have no idea if your workplace or country provides free/easy access to therapy but it may be worth considering, regardless. With so much to process I can imagine having someone guide you compassionately and thoughtfully through this next year would be beneficial. Regardless of what you weigh, what genes you have, what health risks you may face, what your hair is or isn't doing, you have inherent value. We all do. Everything that gets to exist has value in one form or another (except Brüssel Sprouts 😉). Figuring out how to access self-compassion, self-worth, dignity and persistent value is a far more rewarding goal than a number on a scale. Daunting work for both, but you sound like you have the spirit of a fighter!
12 Jan 23 by member: PoCo.TO
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You're here. You decided your health was/is a priority. You're honest. You have value. I will happily be your cheerleader, if required! I'm glad you rejoined our FS Community! I am starting over in all aspects of my life at almost 60. It's daunting & scary. Forget being "normal" cos, sweetie, my life experience has shown me there ain't no NORMAL!!!! haaahaaahaaaaa Welcome to a safe space ((hugs))
13 Jan 23 by member: Liv Lite
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Congratulations on all of the positive changes that you’ve made in your life thus far. You’re right and what you say it is a beginning and you have a bit further to go. I join the other well-wishers and supporters in saying that I can be there for you during your weight loss journey. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you falter along the way. Believe!!!!
14 Jan 23 by member: Maguscanook
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