What a anxious time! I have been there with family members before in similar situations. I just hope she is strong enough to not go back. Emotional abuse is always hard to fight because many people don't consider it as serious as physical. But it is! Your SIL is very lucky to have you all as a family who recognizes that and is standing behind her 100%. Wishing the very best for you all. And yes, our guys can be so over protective. It's macho - but it's love.
09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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And just an FYI...because the nature of this situation is sensitive - can I make a small suggestion? You may not want to post about how E responds - if something does go down, you don't want anything incriminating on the internet. 😉
09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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Thanks Court. "I hope he comes down here, I will get another glock for my dad." This stems from when he was 19 ish, a friend got upset with him and showed up at his house with a knife to fight him. He disarmed him and kept the knife. & he started a knife collection. LOL His dad is currently collecting guns, or at least they are his new obsession. They are a collecting family.
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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My cousin is in the midst of a custody battle and his case was going strong until his daughter's mother pulled up text messages sent by my uncle/cousin's father to her. So also consider what is texted as well.
09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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If possible she might consider an emergency restraining order.
09 Aug 19 by member: Kenna Morton
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I dont have any advice about your SIL (not that you were asking)- although it sounds like you all have a good plan for her so just encouraging thoughts. I LOVE that youre going to Just Dance though! I miss doing those, I need to get a space set up where my kid and I can bust that out! So much fun!
09 Aug 19 by member: mbd121
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Holy flaming redneck, Batman.
09 Aug 19 by member: @philrmcknight
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The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she leaves. Please, you and your family, especially your SIL, be very careful.
09 Aug 19 by member: shirfleur 1
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She is going to do a restraining order as soon as she is back in RI. He hasn't hit her in a year but his emotional abuse was quite horrible from the little I saw. I don't think he really has the means to get up here, but you never know. He is a 13 hour drive away. Thank you for all of your support. He is a (insert naughty mean name)
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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They used cops to get her stuff and got out of dodge. They kept him locked in a room. She didn't have to see him. So grateful
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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Just don't give him any reason to be able to build his own case. People find other ways to be vengeful.
09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean, Court.
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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I would think this would qualify as an emergency. Very dangerous leaving an abusive person. Stay safe. 💕💕
09 Aug 19 by member: jengetfit123
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Some abusers like control and like to win. And sometimes will take things as far as they can to achieve that. If they cannot access that person, it doesn't mean they will not try other means to retaliate especially if officers were called to their home or get involved. They may try to use the legal system against that person as retaliation. I am speaking from experience. They may try to make themselves the victim. So I would refrain from making threats to him if it should go that far - even if it feels justified. No one should have any kind of contact. Perhaps she should also change her number.
09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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No one has made any threats (as far as I know), and he does not have my email, or phone # in which to find me on here. All the officers did was let her get her stuff. He was not arrested, nor did she press charges. She should do a lot of things once she gets back. I hope she does them all and protects herself. I agree @jengetfit. It seemed cruel to only give her 10 mins to pack and gather. That is so overwhelming.
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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@Jessa - I am just speaking from what I personally have experienced with relatives...and how things can escalate afterwards. Guy sends string of threatening texts - family members or woman eventually starts replying back with their own threats. Guy is embarrassed police was called - whether arrested or charges pressed or not. Woman goes to court (restraining orders also show on person's record) - Guy gets mad and tries to have charges pressed against family or woman.
09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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@tribe I am very grateful for your concern and advice, Court. It is hard to get that nuance across in such a serious matter over a message board. We don't even have his #. That last time E or I spoke to him directly was when they got married 2.3 years ago. Her friends scooped her w/o contact, nor do they know his numbers. I agree, if he escalates with more threats...we must stay calm and involve the law. I cannot control what my SIL does, I must be steadfast and hope she does the right things. I can speak up, but she is an adult. In the end, bad or good, her choice. Even within our own personal communications yesterday w her friends and my DD, threats were not made. We were to focused on getting her out safely. If I get worried that my posts here are suspect, I shall delete them if that is what you are getting at. All in all, I am grateful he is 1000 miles away, with minimal money. I think the back & forth will be harder for her to accomplish if she gets wishy washy with her convictions.
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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@Joleen2012 I think I deleted your post about the restraining order by accident.
Sorry! Restraining order is the plan. Her friends that drove almost 2000 miles in 2 days are very adamant about the restraining order. We all are. I hope she finds new found strength in getting one.
09 Aug 19 by member: jessabridge4444
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09 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe
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85 Lbs sounds fatal.. try to get her to a doctor if you can. Hang in there. Sending prayers.. Im sorry your family is having to deal with this..
09 Aug 19 by member: redgirl1974
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