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So its Monday.
I had chicken, peanut butter, and tea for dinner. I intended to have that chicken in a salad, but I was too hungry to make the salad. And peanut butter was on the counter, and it just looked good. But I even measured a perfect table spoon of it.
So I am sitting here, listening to Kelly Clarkson, waiting for my tea to cool, and I can hear my parents fighting upstairs. My mom wants to leave again. This time its because my dad asked her to please respect him by including him in decisions of how his paycheck should be spent. So because they dont agree that she should get a brand new car, she wants a divorce.
All I can think to myself is "I'm seriously too old for this shit."
I was so hungry before dinner, I thought I wasnt going to stop when I was full. But I did, and I am pretty happy with myself.
Especially after last night... Last night, I told my dad about me eating disorder. I reassured him that I am getting better, though.
He promised he wouldnt tell my mom. I will someday, when I am ready.
I cant do it now, though.
I feel like if I did, she would be judgmental and disappointed in me. That would just hurt me more, and I would blame her. I dont want to blame her, or break her heart, and possibly ruin our relationship.
Diet Calendar Entry for 08 June 2009:
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977 kcal
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Fat: 12.28g | Prot: 59.47g | Carb: 165.38g.
Breakfast: raspberries, blueberries, banana, kashi go lean, jasmine green tea, honey. Dinner: oolong tea, honey, Peanut Butter, chicken breast. Snacks/Other: honey dew, naked green machine, Steamfresh Vegetables, apple. more...
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